terlebih

saye rase saye da terlebih mkn. well,bkn rase, mmg pun.
kwn2, ingat ye, kalau da tau kejap lagi nak dinner, jgn mkn 3 keping roti sambil berserta biskut biskutan cecah air teh o panas diikuti dgn sushi. nanti jadi mcm saye. semput.

tula, nabi da pesan da tak elok mkn byk sgt. tak dgr. ikut sgt nafsu. huhu. tak ikut ckp nabi nilah jadinye.

ive vowed not to complain but pls pls pls allow me this one chance. i want this week to end fast!! its been a crazy bz week. assignment yang ntah btul ntah tak. islamic awareness week to handle. and dont get me started on the mdia 102 tute tomorrow which I absolutely loath.

but next week is not going to get any easier either. 2 test back to back!! and with NO holiday to look forward to!! tak aci wuwu. nape teaching experience kne amik sampai 2 minggu..huhu. there goes my holiday. 2 weeks. burn just like dat.

ntahla ntahla ntahla. dont kno wat to think. dont want to think.

kate2 pemujuk kpd diri sendiri: takpe sarah, bertahan, org islam kne kuat!! ni amanah, ko dihantar ke sini mmg suruh belajar pun, bkn bercuti. jihad melawan nafsu!!

berusaha!! hiyahh!!!

push me

once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. well, at least in my case. huhu.

I intended on starting my MDIA 102 assignment since last monday and guess what, its already saturday and I havent written a word.zero. nada

bkn taknak buat. saye btul2 tak tau nak buat camne. and i cant help but questioning myself whether taking this paper is really the right decision? helpppppppppppppppppp.

sbb cuak sgt tak start apape lagi, i type the question. kunun2 menyedapkan hati da taip sket. (YELATU SARAHHH!! soalan tak masuk dalam wordcounts ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

takutnye takutnye takutnyeeeeeeeeeeeeee... so malam ni nak tak nak kne try gak at least da type 500, ok??? jgn berlengah lengah lagi wahai diri sendiri.

u can do it!! huk!!

xpe2. pasni solat hajat mintak tolong Allah mudahkan. sesungguhnye Dia lah sandaran terbaik.
berusahaaaaa!!!

sape2 yang bace post ni sorylah sbb post ni merapu. (oh, mcm sebelum ni tak merapu je cik sarrr.)
i need to write this in order to push myself. da byk sgt memain,huhu. ok, go sarah go!! lwan setan montel yang bergayut gayut kat mate tu

anyway,today i am thankful to Allah for:

keeping my loved ones safe wherever they are and for the biggest nikmat: iman and islam

p/s- i miss vacationing with my family. i miss vacation. which is not coming anytime soon. haish. sarah, remember u've vowed to urself dat u will stop grumbling??

ble nak sedar

thanks to a friend, today she shared with me a video on utube regarding palestin.

palestin is not a new issue indeed. the cruelty of the jews towards the muslims there has been going on for far too long while the world watch and do practically nothing to change the situation. (oh, OIC tu jgn ckpla.setakat ooo i see..)

boikot pun bermusim. ble media tgh hebat tayangkan peperangan kat palestin barula semua pun rase guilty nak mkn mcD, KFC. tapi ble media dah reda sket, mule balik sokong barang2 yahudi tu.

oh, kalau lah kite rase sendiri teruknya org islam kne torture, anak dibunuh dpn mata sendiri, saudara perempuan kita diperkosa, budak2 kecik dipijak pijak dan diluku luku oleh yahudi laknatullah kat negara diorg sendiri dgn duit yang kita byr utk beli brg keluaran yahudi dgn alasan 'tak tahan', mungkin kita takkan sanggup keluar duit utk diorg.

semoga aku akan tegar memboikot brgn yahudi, aminn..

lagi satu yg buat aku tergerak nak menulis malam ni, aku rase sedih ble compare org melayu kita ni, yang diberi nikmat aman, diberi peluang belajar oversea, tapi kufur nikmat. kite hidup aman damai tapi berapa ramai yang hidup dlm maksiat. bangga letak gmbr pergi club kat facebook, bangga tayang gmbr pegang botol arak, berpeluk pelukan laki perempuan. tak ingat Allah.

mungkin korg patut dicampakkan ke palestin. mungkin baru sedar. mungkin korg baru ingat Allah.

tapi utk sekarang, ape yang aku boleh buat, ialah doakan semoga shbt2ku berubah, semoga Allah berikan kita semua hidayah. sbb semua manusia mmg dilahirkan baik. sbb sbg manusia, aku sayang mereka semua kerana Allah.

melayu, sedarlah betapa kita semakin jauh dari landasan Allah. tak mustahil Allah turunkan bala kat malaysia sbg balasan kekufuran kita. ble mcm tu, sempat kah kita kembali pada Allah?

just because

just because u share everything with that person doesnt mean that that person will do the same to you
i guess just because that person really means a lot to you doesnt mean he/she will feel the same way too

well, just because.

stop being nosy, u.. learn how to.

saye kne tag

saye kne tag dek choji.and oleh kerana saye sangat sangap malam ni, so here goes:

Sometimes I just need:
-people to have faith in me more than I have faith in myself. someone who believe i can do it even when im not feeling so sure.

Sometimes I want:
-my life to be as sweet as fairy tales. which is impossible. because life is not as predictable but that wat makes life more interesting.

Sometimes I like to:
-stay at my home sweet home doing nothing and savour the time with my loved ones

Sometimes all it takes:
- is for people to take the times to say 'are u ok?' to mend my heart's pain

Sometimes I picture:
- wat my life would be like if i am richer. wud i be the same sarah? wud i be better? wud i be someone that i would hate?

Sometimes I wish:
-everyone, everyone, gets their happy ending. myself included

Sometimes I find:
-the world nowadays is a terrible terrible place to live in. and i feel so helpless to change a thing

Sometimes I take:
-time to heal the pain someone i love a lot has inflicted on me

Sometimes I look:
-up to someone but they end up hurting me

Sometimes I hate:
-how people choose to hurt others at the expend of their own happiness.why oh why??

Sometimes it’s nice:
- if someone do something sweet for you

Sometimes it hurts:
- when people fails to appreciate what u have done for them

Sometimes it makes me happy:
- to know that somewhere in some part of the world, there are people who are doing good for other people

Sometimes it’s sad:
-to realize how us muslim have gone too far astrayed from the one true perfect straight path that Allah has laid for us

Sometimes I listen:
- to other people's problem but i wonder if they ever think of me as a good listener

Sometimes I sleep:
- to pretend that everything would be alright when I wake up again

Sometimes I like to watch:
- beautiful people.haha

Sometimes I feel:
- that people dont understand me enough. i am truly more that meets the eye

tag ni sbenarnye panjang lagi. tapi sudah tak larat.
sape2 yang sudi nak buat, silakan

selamat malam duniaa
saye

hari yang tidak berapa nak best

hari ni tetibe dpt email pasal placement utk teaching experience. ok. sgt jauh tempat yang aku kne mengajar. da la sengsorang. huu. sbenarnye ble tgk alamat skolah tu di lower hutt, aku x berperasaan pun sbb aku tak bleh byg pun kat mane sbenarnye lower hutt itu (ye, my sense of direction is terrible. kalau ade award kpd org yang paling blur pasal jalan ni aku mmg boleh menang).

'jauh tu', kata eny. slps merisik kawan2 lain punye teaching placement jugak, jelaslah bahawa aku dpt skola yang paling jauh. dan googling tempat tu di internet tidak membantu meredhakan keresahan dan susah hatiku. sbb tak phm. dan complicated. dan sgt sgt jauh dari bandar wellington. buat aku lg sgt cemas. pukul brape nak bangun. kne naik kereta api ke ape. kalau sesat sorg2 mcm mane. kalau kne buli dgn students camne. nak solat kat mane. ni pergi bulan puase, sempat ke tak nak berbuka kat umah. dan mcm2 lagi soalan yang menyesakkan otak aku yang tak berapa nak berfungsi di pagi hari (hah, pagi ke??mcm da tgh hari je kau bgn sarah).

air mata pun bergenang. dpt pule msg dari sha yang tersalah antar tapi berckp pasal aku (haha, sha, slalu sgt tersilap antar kan). tak tau la patutnye antar kat sape. msg simpati tapi buat aku rase bengang. emo sorg2 rase bengang sbb rase org mcm pandang rendah kebolehan aku utk survive sorg2. reply balik dgn emonye. dan hampir mencetuskan pergaduhan antara kitorg. sorry sha, kite kebudak budakan tadi. terima kasih sbb tak balas api dgn api. kite yang emo hari ni. mungkin sbb gelabah dpt skola yang jauh dan tak tau camne nak pergi. mungkin juge sbb Allah mentakdirkan hari ni utk kite berasa tidak sihat. serabut. ble dgr ade sahabat yang da terkena swine flue, kite pun mule risau yang bukan2 (harapnye bukan2 lah)

tapi ble bace balik email yang dpt lepas tu aku lega sket lah, sbb insyaAllah akan diberi briefing camne nak ke skola2 itu. and ble da petang tu aku da boleh berfikir dgn rational and positive sket. chill la sarah, ni la masenye nak berdikari and tunjukkan kat kwn2 kau kau boleh survive sendiri.

hari ni blog aku bernada lain sket kan. mungkin sbb baru lepas tgk cerita Kami the movie. haha. senangnye aku terpengaruh. haip2.

oh, and pasal cerita Kami ni. agak menarik sbb die sempoi je, pelakon die tak nmpk cam blakon, tak macam cerita2 yang trying-too-hard spt cerita2 melayu kebanyakannya. mmg menarik kalau kite tgk from the surface level. yang kurangnya ialah cerita ni cam takde msg yg baik. ok, maybe die nak paparkan kisah persahabatan, and then wat else? die portray cara hidup remaja zmn skang yang sneek out malam2 sbb nak gi tgk gig, yang amik dadah ble tension, yang sanggup jual dadah sbb nk duit (does it make it better if u just sell tapi tak mkn dadah tu? NO). takde langsung scene yang tunjuk budak2 ni solat. nape ye? adekah nmpk kurang moden ble bersolat? citer ni cam nak suggest cam cool la budak2 yg gi gig ni. pompuan islam pakai baju seksi sket tu biasela. ala, remaja kann. so much for 'negara islam'. we must watch out wat we are allowing our media to portray and promote. melayu skarang ni cam da makin hilang identity. and they are proud of it. i guess its up to us yang phm pasal issue agama dan identity melayu to make a change. it might be a slow process, but its not impossible, insyaAllah.

oh. daku da melalut lalut
sakit, cptla sembuh ye, aku nak tgk transformer (terima kasih sang kwn yang baik hati kasi tiket free, hehe). Ya Allah, tabahkanlah aku menempuh ujian Mu ini tanpa byk merengus.

xoxo
sayelah

hiduplah mencari makna

mcm biasa. saye menulis sbg escapism dari melakukan keje yg sepatutnye.
just finished my dinner. i cook today (yeay!walaupun masak ape je la sgt kan). patutnye solat isyak and terus berperang dgn buku, but not just yet.
today i cried for a stranger. a stranger in the sense dat i have never meet and talked to him, but not a stranger in the sense that we are brothers and sisters in Islam.

arni ntah camne saye terbukak blog anas b. mat asis http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=86577657767&h=hB5An&u=IIAOB&ref=mf, an acquaintance from zmn2 kms dulu. die citer la pasal ade sahabat die di mesir yg sedang kritikal sbb accident and suruh para pembace doakan. mase tu da tersentuh da ble die tulis

“Ya Allah kau selamatkanlah Aman n Eckem,

amatlah rugi kehilangan mereka bagi DAKWAH ini

sesungguhnya hati2 ini telah redha dengan jalan Mu ”

tapi lepas tym tgh mkn kat dapo ngan eny die tanye la 'wey, ko tau ak pasal student malaysia yang meninggal kat mesir?'. innalillahwainnaillahirojiunn. rupe2nye salah seorg dari student yg terlibat dlm accident tu meninggal, amar namenye. diorg accident lepas baru balik dari menguruskan salah satu program usrah. subhanallah.. ade dlm satu blog tu yg tribute utk amar tu siap tulis 'Ammar,anta menyusahkan sahabat kemudian'. sbb ape? sbb die da set satu benchmark yang tinggi utk dicontohi kwn2 die yang lain. Die meninggal semasa dlm perjalanan utk menguruskan program yang membawa org lain lebih dekat kpd Allah dan juga utk eratkan siratulrahim jadi insyaAllah die mati sbg seorg syahid. Bak kata penulis blog itu:

"Perginya Ammar dengan cara macam itu telah menyusahkan sahabat dia yang terkemudian. Ammar telah tinggal benchmark yang tinggi buat kita. Jika kita mahu pergi,paling minimum dengan cara seperti Ammar. Pergi dalam keadaan untuk mengentarkan hati manusia dengan kalimah Allah,pergi dalam keadaan menegakkan risalah dan seruan Islam,"

ya Allah, btape cemburunya saya dgn Ammar. die bercita cita mati syahid, dan insyaAllah, itu yang die dpt. how about me? bercita cita juga, tapi tanpa usaha yg setimpal. apekah?? ble bace blog org lain yg bersungguh sungguh menyebarkan dakyah Islam rase malu pule dgn blog sendiri yang pentingkan masalah2 remeh temeh. masalah assignment dan exam yang mmg merupakan tanggungjwb saya. tertampar sekejap ble dkt salah satu pos Anas tu die menulis:

IF THEY KNEW WE SKIPPED LECTURES
THIS IS WHAT THEY WOULD SAY…..
FROM A PALESTINIAN CHILD:

“SHAME ON YOU for not going to LECTURE!!
when i had to go through guns and checkpoints just to come to school.

” KAMI TAKKAN REDHA DENGAN KEMALASAN & KELALAIAN KAMU..!!! ”

insaf sgt. rase kelakar pulak bercita cita nak mati syahid ble tanggungjwab kecil ni pun masih duk berkeluh kesah. something got to change sarah. senang lenang yang pasti dan kekal hanyelah di syurga. huk, berusaha!!