Thursday, September 2, 2010

whats special about u?

have u ever been in a situation where you need to introduce yourself for the first time, and just to make things interesting you were asked to tell what is special about you or few unknown facts about urself? 

I am always at loss and sometimes annoyed when Im required to do such thing (although im guilty of doing the exact same thing to the juniors). So what do we tell what special about ourselves without sounding boastful and too proud of yourselves? like say, for me, I always end up saying something about

1. I am half-chinese
2. I was born in USA
3. My ambition was to become a Brunei queen

or something embarassing about how:

1. When my father asked me what I want to be when I can work, I told him (dgn penuh bersemangat dan muka bangga) "Ada dua cita-cita, satu nak jadi cashier, no 2, nak jadi penjaga tol". (notice how all my ambition is related to handling and holding money? and yes, being a queen involves handling and holding money too. although in a different sense. heheh) Now I understand why my father looked very worried at that time. HAHA

2. I am scared of the most harmless (well not for me its not!) animal in the world: worms, or anything that is boneless, which includes leeches, shell-less snails, etc. Dont test me on this if you dont want to be deaf for the rest of your life

but I guess if I am given more time to think about the facts about myself I can give you more:

1. I dont like people feel pity for me. It will just made me feel more shitty than I already am. So just dont.

2. I cant stand rejection and betrayal. Especially from those that I love. I just cant. The pain caused from this I cant help but remember over and over again, and everytime I am reminded of it, it will still cause me a set of fresh pain. And mind you, I am someone who has very bad memories (I forget things so easily that I forgot I've wore my contact lenses I'd still put on my glasses), but not sad memories inflicted by betrayal and any kind of rejection from the people I love.

3. I am such a crybaby. I am easily touched by everything. Even Malaysia winning a badminton tournament would bring tears to my eyes (that's how patriotic I am), and watching videos or reading about new muslim converts never failed to make shed a tear, seeing how Allah, if He wishes to, can bestow His hidayah in the most unexpected ways to anyone He wishes to. It also made me reflect about how ungrateful I have been about how i am so blessed to be born in this religion when others have to gone through so much to find Islam, while others never do =(

i think there's more but thats what I can think about right now. 

p/s- i write when i am bothered about something


hafiz CHouJi said...

Salam, Sarah.

Aku attracted to the last point about crybaby, and I have one question: Did you cry masa Tomok menang dulu? Ahaha. :'P

We seem to share this similarity - we write when we are bothered. As for me, I write best when I'm emotional. Sounds funny, but that's me.

Anyway, whatever it is bothering you or your heart, just never forget to remember him. Remember our beloved Prophet's reminder, "the heart rumbles to sins." Perhaps it is a good idea to sit down alone, quietly and reflect on what you have done. Perhaps you sinned in ways you didn't realise. Who knows?

As for me, whenever I'm bothered and my heart is restless, I will quickly listen to Him: I read Quran.

"Prayer is when we want to talk to Him, and Quran is when we want to hear Him talk."

I am the kind of person who doesn't know what to say whenever I feel stressed out, so I usually listen. I mean, instead of praying, I usually read Quran until my heart calms down. Then I followed with prayers. Usually that helps me calm down. Hope that will help you too. :')

mizzshaina said...

hey no I did NOT!! btol ni weyy haha
choji, please please erase from ur memory about that little stupid obsession of was so long ago and i feel ashamed even remembering it. i know better now. no human ever deserve an obsession. it will not only make u feel crazy, ur heart wont be at ease too becuz u'd feel guilty all the time. verily, only with remembering Allah, your heart would find peace and tranquility right?

thanks for the suggestion choji. I've done that. I guess its my hormon acting out again, and being overly sensitive is one of its famous (if not troublesome) traits. heheh. im fine now!

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