22 is a scary number

yeah, i know that 13 may is 3 days ago but only now i feel like talking about it.

huhu..how to start..well, to be honest, i was a bit excited that my birthday is coming and all and i was anticipating the surprise my frens will prepared for me (notice the will, yakin diri jek kan?? hahaha). and the surprise was almost successful if i eny didnt forget to put away the balloons before i enter her room..hahaha.. well, around 9 pm dat nyte, eny ym me

eny ida : tido ke
sarah : tak
sarah : nape
sarah : da nak celebrate ke
sarah : hehehe
eny ida: cis ko
eny ida: perasan gile
sarah : hahaha
eny ida : knape ko yaken sgt aku akan clebrate
eny ida : jom minum teh
eny ida : hehe
eny ida : escapism lg!
sarah : haha
sarah : ok

although i sounded so yakin diri, haha, at that moment, i really thought that eny wanted to drink a cup of tea at that time (our favourite activity to escape the assignment). it is only before i switched on the kitchen's light that i suddenly get the feeling that somebody might be there in the darkness, and suddenly "SURPRISEEEE!!!" from erin, dely, ore and wawa who have been waiting in the dark for God knows how long. and the embarassing part is, although I was kinda expecting it, i still shouted as if there are robbers in the house. nasib baik diorg tak sempat rakam. huh.

anyway, they were really sweet, they even made a cake for me (tgk gmbr)! and it looked really great that made me thought that they bought the cake. i know eny is talented in bab bab cooking ni,but i didnt knoe that she is dat talented..haha.. thank u guys, i was really touched.. in fact, i actually have 3 cakes for this year birthday, one from eny,wawa,dely and erin, another home-bake cake from sha (oKAyyy,kwn2 ku semua hebat belaka bab masak2 niii.. tunjuk ajar ku sifu!) and one from mira, fnab and eka..im really blessed to have you guys as my frens..huu


ok, back to the topic. well, so dat nyte everything went well, we had a few cakes, few drinks, and a few laugh. it was when i read their cards, ppl wishing me happy birthday through the ym and sms that suddenly it strucks me: IM 22!!

ya Allah..gle scary.. 22 is like soo adult..when i dont feel adult at all.
bayangkanla, apape pun walaupun benda kecik, i still mengadu at my mom, nanges2, even pasal tensen buat esaimen
and i cant cook!!i cant cook at all.well, ok, dats a lie. i can cook telur, goreng sayur and stuffs like dat but dats about it.
22 tu for me is like umur yang da boleh kawin. well, my mum already has a one year old me at this age. when i cant even organize myself, let alone a husband and a baby
im not ready to be an adult yet, i really dont
i dont think i'll be ready even when im 30
huuuuu..it really freaks me out
im 22 and yet i dont have any sense of achievement at all
and smlm, while at mira, fnab and eka's house, an issue about marriage came up and okayyy, scaryyyy!!!
skang ni ble sume org duk risau2 takde bf takut tak kawin , me on the other hand dont feel like dat (well, except for the times after i just watched cute photo sessions of a married person) because i know im not ready
im still a child myself, still being spoilt by my parents, i dont know how i can grow up, and if i ever will.. takut ok takut...huuu

and there's nothing i can do about it. growing up is sure stressful.huh

da lame da kan tak tulis blog
i just cudden find the tym (or the mood) to write one although there were actually many intresting thing i could talk about
hmm, lets start from the beginning of the week..

Friday 8th may 2009

Happy bday bro!!
it was the day I became a sister 19 years ago (not sure whether its a gud thing or the tragedy of my life..haha, kidding)
though we're not that kind of sitcom brother-sister type (u know wat i mean, protective brother, caring sister, always in good term relationship, etc. etc. (yawnnnn...)) and we fight a lot over the silliest things (on who's turn it is to play the computer, about you always being kind to me only when u got a favor to ask, about how i was mean to u and make u feel as if u are the underachiever of our family, and the list goes on...)

the list goes on, yeah, but the thing is, at the time I was writing this and trying to think about all the things we've fought about, there was not one significant fight that is worth mentioning. its not like we never had a big fight, we actually had big fight ALL the time.

oh how i remember the times when I hated u soo much i was planning on hiring an assassin to kill you when i have the money (true story guys, no kidding, haha)
the times when my lip almost bleed because i was biting it so hard (tgh geram kann)
the times when i really feel like spanking you (but i cant because I was afraid you'll hit me back, i know u wil)

but no matter how angry I was at dat tym, and how i wished i dont have a brother like u, now when i think about it in retrospective,it seems so insignificant now (whether because i have a very bad memory or i am a very forgiving person, ehem) and watever it is, you are my brother through and through, always

there were good times too, remember the one time during hari raya that both of us talk at tok cu's house as if we havent met for a long time (sampai diorg pun heran kan, or the times when we go fishing ikan talapia with ayah at a big longkang near our house (see, we can spend some quality tym together when u are not too busy courting your computer)

and i know dat i can depend on u if i need u. i remember the time when my boss's son almost punch me in the face and when u know about this mama told me that u almost want to bashed him up too. i didnt tell u this, but i was really touched (though of coz u wud only make things messier if u did punch him)

although i seem a cold, bad, uncaring sister to u,u should know that i really care for u. u are the only brother i have, and if i ask u about your studies and what not, it is not because i like to be a bz body person but it is because im really concern about you.

and the thing about me calling u underachiever, u are nothing of that sort, trust me, cause' u are among the smartest person in our family. (haha, i still cant get over not passing the PTS test kan). i just say dat to hurt u, because u hurt me at that tym..teruk kan kite ni??we sucks as a sibling.. but the truth is, u can be great, u have the potential and i know u can



eh, terpanjang plak kan tulis pasal kau.haha..so since this is a late entry, happy belated birthday my dear bro, always know that im here for you.jgn tensen2.. kalau boleh spend la more tym with ur family.. jgnla balik umah pun asik mengadap computer je.. dis are the times to create memories. u wont be at home forever..pasni da kawen mane ade spend tym ngan mama ayah lagi kan..so now collect all the memories u can before its too late. before u suddenly realize that u have nothing worth remembering about us..

today in history

hari ni langkahku dan eny dari kelas encik mccalister ke istana kami lebih laju dari biase. langit menangis pilu. aku tau ini rahmat dari Allah tapi tak dpt aku mengelakkan hatiku dari mengeluh resah. 'malam ni mesti sejuk'

bukan gerimis saje yg menyesakkan benakku. padat sungguh jadualku.tak tau mcm mane nak mengharungi hidup 2-3 minggu ini. haishh. aku nekad mau mendisplinkan diri malam ini. no more citer korea yg membuatku aku mengharapkan benda yg sukar digapai. (well, at least satu episode je kuttt..heee.tak dpt menahan)

jadual utk mlm ini:

1.tgk2 esaimen linguistic (oh..keputusanku utk esaimen lepasssss..menghampakan sekali lagi..walau apa pun, Alhamdulillah)
2.carik2 bahan utk microteaching ALIN
3. luangkan masa utk mendekatkan diri dgn Allah setelah lama bercuti. hehe

go sarah go!! tak byk pun nii..boleh buat punyee..Ya Allah..permudahkann

oh..benda yang aku takut diketahui oleh sahabatku sudah pun ketahuan.. aduhaiii... aku mmg tidak pandai merahsiakan apa2 pun dari sahabat baik ku..pnatla jadi bhn gelak..tadah je laaa..haha


p/s- today i am thankful to Allah for keeping my family safe and healthy. oh. not forgetting for giving me good health so that i can do watever i need to do. Alhamdulillah

angau datang lagi! (dgn nada ala2 "tora dtg lagi")

matilaa..
angauku pada citer2 korea datang kembali
and at a bad time too
huhu..i shudden have watch the coffee prince yesterday
look wat ive done to myself

pls pls pls
i hope my frens wont notice what ive just done
haha

intresting way to approach the hijab issues

i found this from www.islamtomorrow.com
intresting article

why she won't wear hijab

A convesation for Muslim sisters:

"I'm so tired."

"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me."

"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."

"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab…haha!"

"Maybe she was just giving you advice."

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can`t she mind her own
business?"

"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."

"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."

"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean `good` ?"

"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."

"Says who?"

"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"

"Yes. She did quote me something."

"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Qur'an."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more
important."

"True. But big things start with small things."

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important
is to have a good healthy heart."

"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said."

"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on
fixing your hair and low-carb dieting."

"So?"

"So, your appearance IS important."

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."

"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy
Qur'an?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in Qur'an."

"You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes. God is forgiving."

"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."

"Says who?"

"Says the same book that tells you to cover."

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."

"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?!
What`s your definition of freedom anyway?"

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."

"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people."

"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."

"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"

"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"

"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."

"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"

"A company that respects people for who they are."

"Not after 9-11"

"Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school?
And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab…ummm…"

"Yasmeen?"

"Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"

"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood.
But your short sleeves, tight pants…"

"That's called `fashion`, you live in a cave or
something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control
women."

"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."

"Yes. That's what it is."

"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"

"Well, that's different."

"What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab…she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but…"

"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying…"

"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"

"Yes."

"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"

"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be `attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion."

"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

[Silence]

"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."

"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men…and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"

"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism."

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB!
It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"

"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."

"Fine."

"Fine."

[Silence]

"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!"

[Silence]

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society - but rejected by the Faith:

"Yes!" - to curls on the hair - "No!" - to hijab!

"And he (/she) is indeed a failure who corrupts it [the soul]!"
[Holy Quran 91:10]

Subhana'Allah!!!

"Nay! You prefer the life of this world; While the hereafter is better and more lasting."
[Holy Quran: 87:16-17]


"You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah."
[Holy Quran: 3:110]

hope whoever read this will benefit from it,insyaAllah

can u possibly be happy and upset in the same time??

apparently, yes, u can
haish la..smlm da lawa da my template
tgk2 ari ni die buat hal plak
wattodo..i guess i just have to make do with convensional templates
at least until i get the chance to learn on how to apply the cool ones
which i think, not very soon..haishlaa
hehe..

well, dats the reason of why im upset
for the reason on why i am happy- TOMOK WON YEAYYY!!
i cant believe im saying this out loud,huhu
i know all my frens have some reservation on him
but hey, he's a completely new man now,( do you think thousands of ppl will vote for him if he is the still same old tomok??) and I can't help myself from liking him
(haha,matila kalau eny bace pasal ni..mati2)

to sha, thanks for liking my old template
give me your link
i'd like to see yours=)