Friday, March 18, 2011

wish list

I wish I can forget. 
Like totally forget the things I want to forget.
Like it never happens. Like I had never encountered such situation. 

Because you wont miss the things that u dont remember can you? 
And wont be sad when you dont remember the things that upset you, can you?

it's a wishful thinking.
because you cant un-know the things that you have known.


Hi hi! I'm still alive



Wednesday, January 26, 2011

when he hurts you he hurts me too

ignorance is a bliss they say,

and its true, especially if its something you'd rather not know

like the ugly truth about someone that you'd hate to hate.

I know its too late to change things now, but everytime I face this kind of circumstances I cant help but wish you did not make the decisions you have made

Dont you know how many people you have made unhappy and hurt because of that decision, just so that you can be happy?

Dont you know that no matter how years have passed I'd still think you are a selfish monster?

Dont you know that I cant help but wonder after all this years-are you glad you've made that decision after all?

Are you happy? Can you be happy on someone else's sadness?

Please. Belajar lah jadi adil. Kat dunia ni mungkin la boleh lepas, tapi jangan lupa akhirat itu ada,


Allah Itu Ada

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

a test

I asked for help to be a mature person and oh how fast Allah answered my prayer, by setting me up with a test:

-can I accept it with an open heart when someone else receive the things that I have wanted so much?
-can I still congratulate the other person sincerely and be truly happy for her when I am the losing opponent?

Because u know, i guess one of the signs that you are an adult is when you can be happy for others, even when their happiness may cause you pain and sadness.

Imagine this situation and consider your own reaction:
You and your bestfriend enter a competition which would only have one winner. It so happen that the contestant is only the two of you. And your bestfriend won, while you dont.  

And another sign of matureness is when you can accept people having more than you, without being green with envy.

Another situation for you to put yourself into:
You and your friend graduate at the same time but he/she seems to had it easy. He/she gets more help from the parents so he/she is able to buy a car or a house earlier than you, travel a lot more than you, and is preparing for a wedding earlier than you

What's your reaction? Are you matured enough to be happy for them? Or will you distance yourselves from them so you wont have to witness their happiness while feeling hurt and sad by your own sorry life?

But u know what, as a human we cant help it from being a little bit envious of others, and that 'others' sometimes include people who are in your close social circle. But we also have to remember that as a Muslim, we should belief in the concept of "Rezeki".

If its not meant for you, then it was never meant for you from the start. And if you dont get it now, there's a possibility you might get it later. And if you never do, well maybe because Allah knows best that it is not good for you. Allah knows best, always, and whatever it is, always, always bersangka baiklah dengan Allah.

As the Prophet (PBUH) related to us that Allah says:

"I am as My servant thinks of Me" [Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim]

and another hadith:

"None of you should ever die except while assuming the BEST about Allah" [Sahih Muslim]


And writing this down, I have felt better already. Hehe




p/s- hows that for a matured girl writing? ;p









quarter-life crisis

yes. I'm changing to a new layout yet again. I guess I am still in the midst of finding myself, desperately, frantically.


I am going to be 24 this year, and it is freaking me out. just the thought of explaining the things that are worrying me caused me goosebumps, so i wont bother writing it down



So tell me, how do you teach yourself to be a grown up?

 and please, dont tell me its automatic because its just aint happening for me, yet.


It's positive, I'm currently having the so called 'quarter-life crisis'. heh.



Now please, can you heal me?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

this is what you do when you rindu

ayah, mama, amir, amy, wani, atie, sofea


pictures, in crazy order..











pictures of them in China (without me! T_T), and some pictures of amy, during pre-departure to German and when she's already in Regensburg


My family-

Although the trophy for "the person who made Sarah cried the most" can be given to one of the members in the family, I still appreciate all the time you make me laugh. 

Although there are times when I used to be so angry at my siblings I wish I can grow up fast so I can hire an assassin to kill them, I am more angry when somebody hurt them and make them cry

Although there used to be a time when I look at other families and wish that my family can be even a little bit more like them, I still wish for my own imperfect family when I am far away from them

Although there are times I wish my family would be more laid back and wont nag as much whenever I hang out with my friends, I still am thankful to know that I will have someone who would always be waiting for me when I come back home

we cannot chose who our family members are and which family we are born into but even if I were given the choice, I would not change it any other way, even the ugly and the bad bits

And although my family is not perfect, its perfect enough for me, ALHAMDULILLAH!

i love every single one of you with all my heart, more than life itself

Thank you for making my life so much meaningful. I miss you!! T_T

Saturday, January 1, 2011

sarah dan resolusinya

resolusi 2011: nak ada baby. boleh? haha (lempang laju laju)

just few simple (but hard) ones:


  • more mature
  • more organized
  • less sensitive (cengeng)
  • more beautiful
  • more useful toward others
  • lebih kuat dan tabah dalam menempuh cabaran hiyah!
  • and most importantly: kikis karat jahiliah yang masih pekat di dalam diri (go go go anda boleh melakukannya!)


all in all I just wish I can be a better person, in terms of everything. Semoga iman pun akan better juga (kerja keras!!). 

Hope this year would be a happier one, I pray I can make it a happier one insyaAllah. 

Berusaha semua!!


p/s-kenangan pada malam 31 Disember 2010: Disepak oleh perempuan Maori dari belakang. T_T entah apa dosa aku. Arigato. Semoga takde orang yang akan sepak kau macam tu di masa depan

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

All about The Beloved

This is something I have found while I was blog hopping- the testimonies by non-muslim personalities of the world, on our beloved Prophet and what they think of him:

“Philosopher, orator, apostle, legislator, warrior, conqueror of ideas, restorer of rational dogmas, of a cult without images; the founder of twenty terrestrial empires and of one spiritual empire, that is Muhammad. As regards all standards by which human greatness may be measured, we may well ask, is there any man greater than he?”
Lamartine, HISTOIRE DE LA TURQUIE, Paris, 1854, Vol. II, pp. 276-277.
“It is not the propagation but the permanency of his religion that deserves our wonder, the same pure and perfect impression which he engraved at Mecca and Medina is preserved, after the revolutions of twelve centuries by the Indian, the African and the Turkish proselytes of the Koran. . . The Mahometans have uniformly withstood the temptation of reducing the object of their faith an devotion to a level with the senses and imagination of man. ‘I believe in One God and Mahomet the Apostle of God’ is the simple and invariable profession of Islam. The intellectual image of the Deity has never been degraded by any visible idol; the honours of the prophet have never transgressed the measure of human virtue, and his living precepts have restrained the gratitude of his disciples within the bounds of reason and religion.”
Edward Gibbon and Simon Ocklay, HISTORY OF THE SARACEN EMPIRE, London, 1870, p. 54.
“He was Caesar and Pope in one; but he was Pope without Pope’s pretensions, Caesar without the legions of Caesar: without a standing army, without a bodyguard, without a palace, without a fixed revenue; if ever any man had the right to say that he ruled by the right divine, it was Mohammed, for he had all the power without its instruments and without its supports.”
Bosworth Smith, MOHAMMAD AND MOHAMMADANISM, London, 1874, p. 92.
“It is impossible for anyone who studies the life and character of the great Prophet of Arabia, who knows how he taught and how he lived, to feel anything but reverence for that mighty Prophet, one of the great messengers of the Supreme. And although in what I put to you I shall say many things which may be familiar to many, yet I myself feel whenever I re-read them, a new way of admiration, a new sense of reverence for that mighty Arabian teacher.”
Annie Besant, THE LIFE AND TEACHINGS OF MUHAMMAD, Madras,1932, p. 4.
“His readiness to undergo persecutions for his beliefs, the high moral character of the men who believed in him and looked up to him as leader, and the greatness of his ultimate achievement – all argue his fundamental integrity. To suppose Muhammad an impostor raises more problems than it solves. Moreover, none of the great figures of history is so poorly appreciated in the West as Muhammad.”
W. Montgomery Watt, MOHAMMAD AT MECCA, Oxford, 1953, p. 52.
“Muhammad, the inspired man who founded Islam, was born about A.D. 570 into an Arabian tribe that worshipped idols. Orphaned at birth, he was always particularly solicitous of the poor and needy, the widow and the orphan, the slave and the downtrodden. At twenty, he was already a successful businessman, and soon became director of camel caravans for a wealthy widow. When he reached twenty-five, his employer, recognizing his merit, proposed marriage. Even though she was fifteen years older, he married her, and as long as she lived, remained a devoted husband.
“Like almost every major prophet before him, Muhammad fought shy of serving as the transmitter of God’s word, sensing his own inadequacy. But the angel commanded “Read.” So far as we know, Muhammad was unable to read or write, but he began to dictate those inspired words which would soon revolutionize a large segment of the earth: “There is one God.”
“In all things Muhammad was profoundly practical. When his beloved son Ibrahim died, an eclipse occurred, and rumours of God’s personal condolence quickly arose. Whereupon Muhammad is said to have announced, “An eclipse is a phenomenon of nature. It is foolish to attribute such things to the death or birth of a human being.” “At Muhammad’s own death an attempt was made to deify him, but the man who was to become his administrative successor killed the hysteria with one of the noblest speeches in religious history: “If there are any among you who worshipped Muhammad, he is dead. But if it is God you worshipped, He lives forever.”
James A. Michener, “ISLAM: THE MISUNDERSTOOD RELIGION,” in READER’S DIGEST (American edition), May 1955, pp. 68-70.
“My choice of Muhammad to lead the list of the world’s most influential persons may surprise some readers and may be questioned by others, but he was the only man in history who was supremely successful on both the religious and secular level.”
Michael H. Hart, THE 100: A RANKING OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PERSONS IN HISTORY, New York: Hart Publishing Company, Inc., 1978, p. 33.

You know, after reading this, I cant help it from being proud and glad that I am a Muslim and Muhammad is my prophet. But it also made me sad and ashamed of myself. Here are great historians and thinkers who think very highly of our prophet and they know this because they study about him in detail. 
How about us? How much do we know about him? How many of us would gladly spend their free time reading the story about his life than spending hours on Western/Korean/ Japanese/ Hindi movies, sitcoms and series. How many of us can convince how great our prophet is when being asked by the non-muslims because we know a lot about him that we can recite his saying smoothly and confidently? (I think we know more about our favourite group/singer than we know him) And how many of us are closely following his examples rather than feeling more comfortable to follow whats "in" according the society right now, regardless whether its following the Islam guidelines, or not?
I am not talking about other people here, I am talking about myself too, and you know, lots of things got to change. We claim that we love him but how do we prove that love? What I am saying here is that we should strive to learn more about him, follow his sunnah by studying the hadiths because verily, he Muhammad, is the best example for mankind. As stated in the Quran: "Indeed in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much" (33:21)
It might seem hard at first, but it is possible. Set a realistic target for each day (e.g read at least one hadith every day, read a chapter about Rasulullah's life and his sahabahs, etc.) and stay true to it. If we can spend hours and hours glued to the screen of our TV/laptop I am sure spending some time studying things that would benefit us hereafter would  not be a problem =)

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