dont sleep yet, reminisce and smile

celebrating yuyu's bday. duduk tgh feeling2 mcm diri sendiri punye bday la pulak kan -_-'

rakan camera ku susah dan senang. haha

dely si fashionista, erin si gadis rempit (but the spec really does suit you), sha si gadis senyum selalu;p

with the bday girl yang enggan bergaya walaupun di bday sendiri. dan cik sha's devil choc cupcake yg mantap

gadis gadis sadis bila bershopping

bergaya ala2 bahu terpleot

leme leme ipod application.  im so having fun with other people's ipod. im still wondering if i shud get one. or if i can even afford to have one T_T

Thanks dely for being patient with me. heheh

being sick is no fun, but..

the ever growing bisul and toothache. wat a combination. and wat a way to spend your easter break huh?

but im not trying to moan and complain about that in this entry. (at least I'm trying very hard not to)

you know, although being sick (in anyway) is no fun, Allah has created sickness for a reason (like everything else that He has created in this world of course). Being in this condition right now, I can think of few good things that sickness does bring:

1. It taught you to appreciate things that you always take for granted, especially health. Now that I am unable to shut my mouth properly because the gum in my mouth is swollen which makes chewing impossible, I cant really enjoy the food. (Of course la, bayangkan kene telan semua benda sbb x boleh kunyah, wuwu). Back in the old days when all is fine, teeth is something I hardly think about. Now it is ALL I think about. Amazing huh how something so small and usually deemed insignificant can affect a human's life in a big way? See, sickness makes you think about all this things and made you realize about how blessed we are actually to be able to do things as simple as eating. Because no, it is not that simple, it is actually a very big blessing. (Please trust me. This is from someone who cant eat for two days now T_T)
2. It also made you realize how weak you are actually in comparison to Allah. We are not invincible at all. Even minor injury or sickness can cause us ail, misery,  uncomfortableness, helplessness, let alone bigger ones. How weak, how powerless we humans are, yet we always forget. Berapa banyak orang yang terang-terangan melanggar hukum Allah, berlagak mcm boleh hidup selamanya, yet bila dah sakit, baru nak cari Tuhan (kalau ada yang mau cari. Kalau yang x mau cari sampai mati alangkah tragisnya). So, di dalam kulit kacangnya (in a nutshell), sakit juga buat kita ingat Allah.
3. It also allows you to practice and reflect about "Ingat 5 perkara, sebelum 5 perkara". Haa, ingat tak itu ape dia? kalau x ingat sila nyanyi lagu raihan sekarang

• sihat sebelum sakit
• muda sebelum tua
• kaya sebelum miskin
• lapang sebelum sempit
• hidup sebelum mati

well, at least I could reflect 3 aspects of the things above (sihat sblm sakit, muda sblm tua and lapang sebelum sempit). Now that I am sick, I realize how great it was to be healthy. Now that I cant chew, it made me think about the time when I would really lose all my teeth in the old age (skarang sarah phm perasaan atuk kene kunyah guna gusi. akan berusaha menjadi lebih empathatic selepas ini). Now all that I think is about my painful  bisul and gusi, I missed the time when I dont have to worry about my health, yet I wasted my time on stupid things.

Being sick is no fun, but I appreciate learning something out of it. 

And Allah, if you wont cure my sickness as soon as I would love to, please ya Allah, please grant me the strength to bear it with a strong heart so I would not complain and moan about my pain all the time. Ameen.

"Manusia yang duduk dalam kenikmatan terlalu lama, selalu terlupa dia sememangnya berada dalam kenikmatan" [As-Syahid Syed Qutb]

I miss you

I am so sorry my blog
for I have kinda abandoned you
i dont know what had happened, but even new fancy layout doesnt provide me enough push to write something new

But tonight it so happened I had the chance of digging through my old entries
and I think I kinda miss you
I miss writing, I miss talking to myself and being reflective
So maybe, I'll try harder to start writing again
About anything, nothing and everything
Just so in the future I can look back I can say "Ahh, so that was how I was so that was what happened" and be reminded of the sweet, the bitter and both in between
InsyaAllah, if Allah is willing

And just for kicks I've decided to post this picture

yeah. I purposely put it up-side-down. got problem with that? HEHE

toodles. bonne nuit!

wish list

I wish I can forget. 

Like totally forget the things I want to forget.

Like it never happens. Like I had never encountered such situation. 

Because you wont miss the things that u dont remember can you? 

And wont be sad when you dont remember the things that upset you, can you?

it's a wishful thinking.

because you cant un-know the things that you have known.

Hi hi! I'm still alive

when he hurts you he hurts me too

ignorance is a bliss they say,

and its true, especially if its something you'd rather not know

like the ugly truth about someone that you'd hate to hate.

I know its too late to change things now, but everytime I face this kind of circumstances I cant help but wish you did not make the decisions you have made

Dont you know how many people you have made unhappy and hurt because of that decision, just so that you can be happy?

Dont you know that no matter how years have passed I'd still think you are a selfish monster?

Dont you know that I cant help but wonder after all this years-are you glad you've made that decision after all?

Are you happy? Can you be happy on someone else's sadness?

Please. Belajar lah jadi adil. Kat dunia ni mungkin la boleh lepas, tapi jangan lupa akhirat itu ada,


Allah Itu Ada

a test

I asked for help to be a mature person and oh how fast Allah answered my prayer, by setting me up with a test:

-can I accept it with an open heart when someone else receive the things that I have wanted so much?
-can I still congratulate the other person sincerely and be truly happy for her when I am the losing opponent?

Because u know, i guess one of the signs that you are an adult is when you can be happy for others, even when their happiness may cause you pain and sadness.

Imagine this situation and consider your own reaction:
You and your bestfriend enter a competition which would only have one winner. It so happen that the contestant is only the two of you. And your bestfriend won, while you dont.  

And another sign of matureness is when you can accept people having more than you, without being green with envy.

Another situation for you to put yourself into:
You and your friend graduate at the same time but he/she seems to had it easy. He/she gets more help from the parents so he/she is able to buy a car or a house earlier than you, travel a lot more than you, and is preparing for a wedding earlier than you

What's your reaction? Are you matured enough to be happy for them? Or will you distance yourselves from them so you wont have to witness their happiness while feeling hurt and sad by your own sorry life?

But u know what, as a human we cant help it from being a little bit envious of others, and that 'others' sometimes include people who are in your close social circle. But we also have to remember that as a Muslim, we should belief in the concept of "Rezeki".

If its not meant for you, then it was never meant for you from the start. And if you dont get it now, there's a possibility you might get it later. And if you never do, well maybe because Allah knows best that it is not good for you. Allah knows best, always, and whatever it is, always, always bersangka baiklah dengan Allah.

As the Prophet (PBUH) related to us that Allah says:

"I am as My servant thinks of Me" [Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim]

and another hadith:

"None of you should ever die except while assuming the BEST about Allah" [Sahih Muslim]


And writing this down, I have felt better already. Hehe




p/s- hows that for a matured girl writing? ;p

quarter-life crisis

yes. I'm changing to a new layout yet again. I guess I am still in the midst of finding myself, desperately, frantically.


I am going to be 24 this year, and it is freaking me out. just the thought of explaining the things that are worrying me caused me goosebumps, so i wont bother writing it down



So tell me, how do you teach yourself to be a grown up?

 and please, dont tell me its automatic because its just aint happening for me, yet.


It's positive, I'm currently having the so called 'quarter-life crisis'. heh.



Now please, can you heal me?