Saturday, May 16, 2009

22 is a scary number

yeah, i know that 13 may is 3 days ago but only now i feel like talking about it.

huhu..how to start..well, to be honest, i was a bit excited that my birthday is coming and all and i was anticipating the surprise my frens will prepared for me (notice th
e will, yakin diri jek kan?? hahaha). and the surprise was almost successful if i eny didnt forget to put away the balloons before i enter her room..hahaha.. well, around 9 pm dat nyte, eny ym me

eny ida : tido ke
sarah : tak
sarah : nape
sarah : da nak celebrate ke
sarah : hehehe
eny ida: cis ko
eny ida: perasan gile
sarah : hahaha
eny ida : knape ko yaken sgt aku akan clebrate
eny ida : jom minum teh
eny ida : hehe
eny ida : escapism lg!
sarah : haha

sarah : ok

although i sounded so yakin diri, haha, at that moment, i really thought that eny wanted to drink a cup of tea at that time (our favourite activity to escape the assignment). it is only before i switched on the kitchen's light that i suddenly get the feeling that somebody might be there in the darkness, and suddenly "SURPRISEEEE!!!" from erin, dely, ore and wawa who have been waiting in the dark for God
knows how long. and the embarassing part is, although I was kinda expecting it, i still shouted as if there are robbers in the house. nasib baik diorg tak sempat rakam. huh.

anyway, they were really sweet, they even made a cake for me (tgk gmbr)! and it looked really great that made me thought that they bought the cake. i know eny is talented in bab bab cooking ni,but i didnt knoe that she is dat talented..haha.. thank u guys, i was really
touched.. in fact, i actually have 3 cakes for this year birthday, one from eny,wawa,dely and erin, another home-bake cake from sha (oKAyyy,kwn2 ku semua hebat belaka bab masak2 niii.. tunjuk ajar ku sifu!) and one from mira, fnab and eka..im really blessed to have you guys as my frens..huu


ok, back to the topic. well, so dat nyte everything went well, we had a few cakes, few drinks, and a few laugh. it was when i read their cards, ppl wishing me happy birthday through the ym and sms that suddenly it strucks me: IM 22!!

ya Allah..gle scary.. 22 is like soo adult..when i dont feel adult at all.
bayangkanla, apape pun walaupun benda kecik, i still mengadu at my mom, nanges2, even pasal tensen buat esaimen
and i cant cook!!i cant cook at all.well, ok, dats a lie. i can cook telur, goreng sayur and stuffs like dat but dats about it.
22 tu for me is like umur yang da boleh kawin. well, my mum already has a one year old me at this age. when i cant even organize myself, let alone a husband and a baby
im not ready to be an adult yet, i really dont
i dont think i'll be ready even when im 30
huuuuu..it really freaks me out
im 22 and yet i dont have any sense of achievement at all
and smlm, while at mira, fnab and eka's house, an issue about marriage came up and okayyy, scaryyyy!!!
skang ni ble sume org duk risau2 takde bf takut tak kawin , me on the other hand dont feel like dat (well, except for the times after i just watched cute photo sessions of a married person) because i know im not ready
im still a child myself, still being spoilt by my parents, i dont know how i can grow up, and if i ever will.. takut ok takut...huuu

and there's nothing i can do about it. growing up is sure stressful.huh

8 comments:

hafiz CHouJi said...

As I said before, take responsibility like an adult but keep childish at heart. In your case, maybe it's a bit, urm . . . different, in the sense that you are too childish. But is it not okay? It is fairly okay, I'd say.

I think you're too dependent. So, I think, maybe you need to learn to detach yourself from your mom a bit and learn how to walk on your own two feet.

But then again, I think our society and culture put too high of expectation on children - about who and what they should be. I believe we should grow at our own pace. And if you think you are growing too slow, put some effort to speed it up. If you think you are no good at cooking, experiment more with cooking.

Growing up should not be a pressure to a child. It's the society that pressures child to grow at the standard they set. A child should grow up when he or she is ready to grow up. A child should grow up when he or she wants to grow up.

So, Sarah. Don't think growing up as a pressure eh? Grow up at your own pace. Grow up because you want to grow up, when you are ready to grow up. But never think you don't wanna grow up. Because we're not in Peter Pan's Never-Neverland. *wink*

mizzshaina said...

yup2.. true2..
maybe skang ni i shud start thinking like an adult
u're right in saying that im too dependent, and im not only too dependent on my parents, im also too dependent on my frens.
dats why i still cudden find my way around uni, because all i do is follow them around, without really thinking or observing
i guess that have to change, among other things..

tq choji for the support. growing up is scary but its a must.. we are created in this world to bear a responsibility, and in order to be a responsible person we need to be mature. huhu.. not an easy task, but i'll try. because i have to.

hafiz CHouJi said...

You sounded like we are forced to bear those responsibilities. Are we actually forced? Because we think this way that we feel stressed under the pressure of such expectation.

Why don't we think that we are bearing these responsibilities because we want to and we need to, not because we have to. Believe me, you'll feel much better thinking like this because you'll feel that you have more control over your own life. *wink*

~p/s: Anyways, do you bring the green furry thingy to school?

the dreamer said...

right now since you're away from home,
instead of depending too much on your mom,
you've attached yourself to eny
isn't that right sarah?
i couldn't imagine what will happen to you,
if you are separated from her
what if you guys didn't end up getting the same place to live next year?
hurmm...

don't take it as you are FORCED to grow up
you just have to
its your own responsibility
you cannot be a child forever ( yes i agree with you chouji, right on)

we are not going to be around you forever my dear
don't get too stressd up about it
we're here to support you
and by "supporting" you,
i mean leaving you alone at the lecture hall.haha (last time, that was pure accident. that was not intentional. but perhaps, in near future, it might be intentional :P)

mizzshaina said...

haha..right sha. my mum thought it would be a gud experience for me, to be away from her and start being independent. sadly though, she saw no change in me when i came back to malaysia last time (hey, i even cook her a dish ok!!)
i dont know wats wrong with me. i guess there must be some element lacking in me or watever, i dont kno. the thing is, i dont feel forced to grow up, but i know that i HAVE to grow up and im not doing it fast enough. dat have to change and i'll work hard on it. insyaAllah.

p/s-blom choji, da green thingy blom lagi melihat dunia luar selain bilik aku. haha.

the dreamer said...

perhaps A dish is not enough?
hahaha

hafiz CHouJi said...

Right. Sha highlighted exactly the right thing I forgot to highlight - you are detach from your mom but end up attaching yourself to Eny. It's good to have company because human are all social by nature but must learn to be MORE independent. Okay?

And, yeah. Couldn't agree more with Sha. Perhaps A DISH is not enough. Ahaha~

mizzshaina said...

heLLLO, u guys have emphasized enough ok??
haha.. you dont need to tell again and again because i have realized that myself, lonnng time ago.
but u'll see, i'll try to be more independent this time around.

about the dish, she didnt like the vegie that i cooked for her (but my father was surprised that i was the one who cooked it, it was sayur masak ala2 paprik, but my mum suke sayur yang plain boring tuh), so i was demotivated to try again.

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