Wednesday, January 26, 2011

when he hurts you he hurts me too

ignorance is a bliss they say,

and its true, especially if its something you'd rather not know

like the ugly truth about someone that you'd hate to hate.

I know its too late to change things now, but everytime I face this kind of circumstances I cant help but wish you did not make the decisions you have made

Dont you know how many people you have made unhappy and hurt because of that decision, just so that you can be happy?

Dont you know that no matter how years have passed I'd still think you are a selfish monster?

Dont you know that I cant help but wonder after all this years-are you glad you've made that decision after all?

Are you happy? Can you be happy on someone else's sadness?

Please. Belajar lah jadi adil. Kat dunia ni mungkin la boleh lepas, tapi jangan lupa akhirat itu ada,

Allah Itu Ada

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

a test

I asked for help to be a mature person and oh how fast Allah answered my prayer, by setting me up with a test:

-can I accept it with an open heart when someone else receive the things that I have wanted so much?
-can I still congratulate the other person sincerely and be truly happy for her when I am the losing opponent?

Because u know, i guess one of the signs that you are an adult is when you can be happy for others, even when their happiness may cause you pain and sadness.

Imagine this situation and consider your own reaction:
You and your bestfriend enter a competition which would only have one winner. It so happen that the contestant is only the two of you. And your bestfriend won, while you dont.  

And another sign of matureness is when you can accept people having more than you, without being green with envy.

Another situation for you to put yourself into:
You and your friend graduate at the same time but he/she seems to had it easy. He/she gets more help from the parents so he/she is able to buy a car or a house earlier than you, travel a lot more than you, and is preparing for a wedding earlier than you

What's your reaction? Are you matured enough to be happy for them? Or will you distance yourselves from them so you wont have to witness their happiness while feeling hurt and sad by your own sorry life?

But u know what, as a human we cant help it from being a little bit envious of others, and that 'others' sometimes include people who are in your close social circle. But we also have to remember that as a Muslim, we should belief in the concept of "Rezeki".

If its not meant for you, then it was never meant for you from the start. And if you dont get it now, there's a possibility you might get it later. And if you never do, well maybe because Allah knows best that it is not good for you. Allah knows best, always, and whatever it is, always, always bersangka baiklah dengan Allah.

As the Prophet (PBUH) related to us that Allah says:

"I am as My servant thinks of Me" [Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim]

and another hadith:

"None of you should ever die except while assuming the BEST about Allah" [Sahih Muslim]

And writing this down, I have felt better already. Hehe

p/s- hows that for a matured girl writing? ;p

quarter-life crisis

yes. I'm changing to a new layout yet again. I guess I am still in the midst of finding myself, desperately, frantically.

I am going to be 24 this year, and it is freaking me out. just the thought of explaining the things that are worrying me caused me goosebumps, so i wont bother writing it down

So tell me, how do you teach yourself to be a grown up?

 and please, dont tell me its automatic because its just aint happening for me, yet.

It's positive, I'm currently having the so called 'quarter-life crisis'. heh.

Now please, can you heal me?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

this is what you do when you rindu

ayah, mama, amir, amy, wani, atie, sofea

pictures, in crazy order..

pictures of them in China (without me! T_T), and some pictures of amy, during pre-departure to German and when she's already in Regensburg

My family-

Although the trophy for "the person who made Sarah cried the most" can be given to one of the members in the family, I still appreciate all the time you make me laugh. 

Although there are times when I used to be so angry at my siblings I wish I can grow up fast so I can hire an assassin to kill them, I am more angry when somebody hurt them and make them cry

Although there used to be a time when I look at other families and wish that my family can be even a little bit more like them, I still wish for my own imperfect family when I am far away from them

Although there are times I wish my family would be more laid back and wont nag as much whenever I hang out with my friends, I still am thankful to know that I will have someone who would always be waiting for me when I come back home

we cannot chose who our family members are and which family we are born into but even if I were given the choice, I would not change it any other way, even the ugly and the bad bits

And although my family is not perfect, its perfect enough for me, ALHAMDULILLAH!

i love every single one of you with all my heart, more than life itself

Thank you for making my life so much meaningful. I miss you!! T_T

Saturday, January 1, 2011

sarah dan resolusinya

resolusi 2011: nak ada baby. boleh? haha (lempang laju laju)

just few simple (but hard) ones:

  • more mature
  • more organized
  • less sensitive (cengeng)
  • more beautiful
  • more useful toward others
  • lebih kuat dan tabah dalam menempuh cabaran hiyah!
  • and most importantly: kikis karat jahiliah yang masih pekat di dalam diri (go go go anda boleh melakukannya!)

all in all I just wish I can be a better person, in terms of everything. Semoga iman pun akan better juga (kerja keras!!). 

Hope this year would be a happier one, I pray I can make it a happier one insyaAllah. 

Berusaha semua!!

p/s-kenangan pada malam 31 Disember 2010: Disepak oleh perempuan Maori dari belakang. T_T entah apa dosa aku. Arigato. Semoga takde orang yang akan sepak kau macam tu di masa depan

dari mana nk kemana

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