Friday, May 27, 2011

humans, we are vulnerable creature

we are, believe it or not, we have too many things at stake which often is, beyond our control.

but of course as human, we tend to forgot that. we think we are invincible. we think nothing can hurt us. but do u know just one stroke of fate by Allah can change your life in a blink of an eye?

we can count how many times actually in a day we truly remember Allah. If we are honest we'll admit that even while praying our mind wanders away

but in adversity and in desperate times, we WILL for sure remember Him

we can count how many minutes in a day we remember Allah (if we are really honest, we'll admit that we even think of something else when we are praying), but in desperate times, we'll always, always come back to Allah and pray hard for His help.

only in times of adversity (death, natural disaster, etc.) we will, for sure remember how powerful He is, and how very weak, powerless, vulnerable we are, to go against the fate that has been stored for us

may we be amongst those who wont only remember Him when we are in difficulties, and may we always be strong in facing His trials in life

Thursday, May 26, 2011

simple things that make me happy

you know, just like my sister, I think there is also a possibility that I too, might have attention deficit disorder. Concentrating on one thing is so so hard for me. Anyhow, tonight I am trying very diligently to complete all the task that I have planned to do (where I listed all  in a paper and make a point to tick each one when I'm done). But just a little escapism before I start on studying for my test, look what have made me very happy today!!:

"Shimmering with glitter these cards are sure to impress" (and so they claim)

aww pretty sweet dont you think (ke aku je yang perasan). Boleh buat kad invitation bertunang (tetibe. HAHA)

the middle one is my favourite!

I bought it at warehouse stationary. It was a really good bargain (10 dolars for 24 cards, so around 42 cents each). Crazy cheap huh? Each box has 6 different designs and I think there were 36 different designs all together. It was all so pretty it was really hard to make up my mind I end up buying 2 boxes of this (I think its worth it cause im happyy).

Ok. Iklan tamat. Sarah, sila sambung buat kerja

deeper conversation

im sorry i was emotional in the last post and leaving it kind of hanging and make people wondered wat it was all about. It just so happen that the night before my birthday my youngest sister, sofea, wrote a comment on my FB wall saying "Kak sarah sofea dah ada blog" and leaving a link. I was like "What?? She is only 9 years old and already having a blog?".

Ironically, how she chose to name the blog link is kind of similar to what I have been jokingly asking (or maybe forcing haha) people to call me all this while: "Sarah the queen". But of course instead of that, the bloglink was "". Like sister like sister huh? Anyhow, if you try that link now, you wont find anything anymore as for some reason she might have deleted it (im not sure why or what actually happened)

Surprisingly, the main header for the blog (e.g. in my blog its "the chocolate and coffee of my life"), for her it was "fixing my heart". Quite a sad name for a blog dont you think? That was what I thought at first but as I read her first entry I finally understood why she chose that name. While seemingly sounding cheerful at the start, saying hello to the world and introducing her blog she then moves on to how her day was. (Im quite proud of her English actually. For a 9 years old who barely speak English at home her English was quite good, with minimal mistakes here and there). Her day was half bad half good, she wrote. On that day one of her friends refuse to be friend with her anymore, and said that she is crazy. The boys are calling her names (I forgot what it was but its obvious that she did not like it).

If this is your little sister's writing how would you feel? Imagine my feeling at that time. I was sad and angry reading it (I so happened reading it near to 12 am on 13th of May, bad timing really as my friends was all prepared to celebrate my birthday with a surprise birthday cake).

What I dont really always talk about (as talking about it might cause people to have negative impression on her when she is one of the smartest 9 year olds girl I have ever known), is my sister was actually diagnosed with ADD which cause her to be more impulsive, talk without really thinking first, inability to pay attention for a long time,which actually cant be really good for your social life. We werent aware of this at first. It was her kindergarten teacher who pointed this out. Apparently she had found it strange that sofea had refused to sit still in class and learn (she walks all around the class) but everytime she asked sofea a question, she said sofea always manage to answer her correctly, despite of her being inattentive (if attentive means you have to sit still and look straight at the teacher). My mum then proceed to do a check up and the doctor confirms this. I am not sure of this but I instinctively think my mum dont really believe this. I guess its hard to accept your child has some kind of problems.

But please, don't let my revelation about her state change how you see her. She might has ADD but she is not stupid. If you want to know, she managed to figure out my laptop's password (which I have changed earlier as it is annoying to wake up every morning with her already ransacking my laptop as if its her own) just by looking at the clue (I dont think the clue was that easy either. I felt so angry and stupid at the same time having made a fool by my younger sister. Haha).She might seem to ignore you when you're talking to her but she's the most empathetic person I have ever know (she cried watching "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" when watching the scene which revealed that a seemingly uncaring father actually was very proud of his son. And sofea was ashamed to admit this and said it was because "habuk masuk mata". yeah rite.)

So no, I am not asking for pity here. I just want to vent my frustration at how easy people bully and label others, forgetting that the people who they bully are someone special to their families too. Before you bully, or say something hurtful, remembers what if other people are doing the same thing to your loved ones, how would you feel?

At times like this, I cant help but feel what a better place this world would be, if only everyone starts following the Prophet's sunnah which is to love others as much as you love yourself. 

As narrated by Bukhari: 
"None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself"

I cant always change the way of thinking and behaviour of others, but you know what, I absolutely can change myself. So thats what I would do, I vow to treat others as to how I want them to treat me. And I vow to emphasize this again and again with my students when I will finally become a teacher. I cant turn back time and save sofea from the hurt, but I certainly would try to save others from the same pain. 
InsyaAllah, I promise.

Friday, May 13, 2011

what are u calling my sister again?

telling a 9 years old girl that she has mental problem is NOT OK
calling her a name that she doesn't like is NOT OK

dont mess with my sister please. you mess with her you mess with me

stay strong sofea. I got your back girl

Friday, May 6, 2011

DEADline ke DATEline ek

zalim:  tidak meletakkan sesuatu pada tempatnya, not placing something where it belongs

that is what I have been doing all this time along. I realized this as I was climbing the killer hill, on the way to the university. As I walk as fast I could at and make it a ritual to glance at my watch every seconds or so to make sure I can get on time to hand in the assignment (deadline: 4 p.m. finish time: 3.20p.m. went out from house: 3.30 p.m), I cant help but hate myself for once again putting me in this situation- knowing that I did not really do well in the assignment. .And like every single time, I wonder what went wrong. Why was I so slow in finishing up the assignment. Its not like I just started the night before. Others has started later than me but still manage to finish the assignment earlier. Why sarah, why?

Its because I have been zalim to myself and to the time that I had.

You know, the things about knowing your deadline means you can actually plan when you can start the assignment, or if you think like me (which I really regret by the way), it allows you to know how much time you have to procrastinate before you really have to start concentrate doing it. And you know what happened when you are only able to concentrate when you really have no extra time left? You'll end up still typing furiously whatever that you hope make sense to the marker, 30 minutes before the due time.

Well, at least I did manage to hand it in before 4 but I guess Im leaving it to chance whether Chris Bowden would like it or not. Uggh, how I wrote the conclusion still haunts me! Huhu

But you know what, there are actually bigger and more important deadline than assignments that all us human have. The thing about this deadline is you dont really know when. But its certain for everyone.

Yep. It's death

We dont really know when our time will be up, when will our breath stop, when we will be passed on to the next world, but we always have the tendency to think "well, insyaAllah, lambat lagi kuttt" "nanti tua2 sikit kutt" "takkan la mati kejap lagi aku sihat je lagi ni" that we don't really start preparing for it. We tend to have this idea that we can change to being a better Muslim when we get old, but we forgot that we cant really guarantee we would able to get there, we forgot that we cant even guarantee we would be able to take in the next breath.

And well, even if we do get to a ripe old age, can we guarantee that we would be able to perform satisfactorily, with quality (remember about doing last minute assignment?) and if its enough to guarantee you an A+, a pass to Jannah and an escape from the hell fire? Tepuk dada tanyela selera makan

Maka,marilah sama-sama mengrefleksi diri. Adakah kita sudah cukup bersedia untuk deadline yang pasti itu? Adakah sure akan dapat buku rekod amal yang A+ di akhirat nanti? Tak sure kan sarah? Maka berusaha buat amal banyak-banyak lagi, tinggalkan yang tidak patut. Boleh insyaAllah, berusaha!!

I hope by writing this down and being reflective I would be a better students next time, and a better servant to Allah, insyaAllah. Go Go Sarah!! U can do it!!

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