Thursday, November 10, 2011

Sorry seems to be the hardest word? Huh, what a joke. Some people say it easily

Gun Jun Pyo, a character in Boys Over Flowers always said this: "If sorry can solve anything, why then we need the police?"

When I first encountered this scene, I cant help but say "What an arrogant jerk. Do you think you are really that great that you cannot accept a sincere apology?". But you know what, after what happened today, I must admit that this pompous guy has a point. If hearing a sorry is enough, why is it I dont feel like forgiving that person at all?

Look, there are times when you can forgive people as long as they say sorry. 

Example 1.0: When a person accidentally bumped into your shoulder. You might feel annoyed at first on why that person is rushing as though a tiger is chasing his ass, but when he look at you with a sheepish and apologetic smile and say "Oops, sorry!" you might feel better all over again and forgive him just like that

Example 2.0: Your bestfriend is frustrated about something and you, being the unlucky person who happened to be in the same room was yelled at only because you are trying to make light of the situation. Of course is not fair, why is that you have to be the punching bag right? But when she came to her senses and said sorry I think as much as you were hurt at that time, being the understanding person that you are you would probably forgive her, albeit grudgingly. After all, you guys are bestfriends.

but compare the situation with this:

Example 1.1: When a motorcycle accidentally bumped into your car. Can you just let him go if he just say "Sorry! It was an accident!!". Of course not. Of course he has to pay right?

Example 2.1: Your younger brother is short tempered and is like a time bomb. Even the smallest thing can jerk him off and unleash the ugly angry monster in him. This is not the first time that he had said hurtful things, with a very loud voice, yelling at the top of his lungs, threaten to hit you in the face with his fist, never mind that you are the older sister. This brother only treasure you when he wants something from you but when you asked him to return the favour, you would feel as if you are a beggar, begging for mercy. He has made you cry so many time and when he has cool down he would come to you and said "Sorry, I know I was wrong". Would the sorry be enough to erase all the hurtful things he has said to you? Would the sorry be enough to compensate for the pain when he violently pushed your head that you almost get knocked to the door? 

You said you would change, but of course you cant change. You have proven that. I feel so stupid for believing in you. In the end you are just a selfish selfish jerk.

And I hate this one thing about myself, I cant hold my anger for long. Of course people might see it is as a good thing but its just that when I start caring again I would get hurt all over again, 10 times worse. 

I guess my main point is this, when you say sorry, please mean it, and try your best not to repeat that same mistake. If you have to say sorry many times to that same person do you think that person can forgive you that easily? We are not angels, we have feelings and sometimes just to protect our feelings we choose to stop caring. And be careful when we stop caring, when we stop caring it means that we stop loving.

Treat other people like you want yourself to be treated. PLEASE.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

my problem

i have problem saying no to people

which sometimes put me in a really difficult situation

"No I dont want to! Just because I dont want to! And no I have no reason or justification to say no to your request, any problem?"

if only I can say that right at their faces


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

When you being special is an understatement=)

Today is the day where someone very special to me was born, 24 years ago (woah umur makcik ;p)
She is my best friend: Miss Ernie Syahida

So nah, a present, a special poem specially picked for you:

Friends like us

Friend like us dont need to see each other everyday
no matter how long its been since we were last together,
we just pick up right where we left off

Friends like us  dont need to ask for help
we just know that we'll always be there for each other,
anytime anywhere.

Friends like us dont need to apologize for our bad days or our bad moods
we just understand that life isnt always the brightest 
and we take turns to cheering each other up

Friends like us dont need to tell each other how much we care
we can just feel the strength of our friendship in our hearts

Friends like us..
are the very best kind of all

-Rachyl Taylor

nah, have your cake=D

Ernie Syahida,
I am one of the many people who are glad that you were born
Thank you for bringing the light and laughter into our lives
I pray that you will be blessed with happiness, good health, wisdom, prosperity, success and every good things in this world, and more so in hereafter
Semoga berjumpa prince charming yang beriman, kacak, tinggi dan kaya cepat cepat;p
Although I dont say this often, 
I Love You my dear friend
and have a happy birthday!!

we look good together huh? *perasan*
p/s- I write this entry 3 days earlier as my school's internet connection...hmm paham2 je la haha.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Hello impersonator


Hello Hello Helloooooo
Hi all
I know ive been quite quiet (ha hows that for a tongue twister, or even an eye twister? heheh), its just that living in the area where the phone coverage is almost non-existence, let alone having an internet connection is really not a good booster for blog-writing. Yup im back in Malaysia and right now I am doing my practical in MRSM Kuala Kubu Baru, a cute, peaceful and beautiful town where you can take a tour around the whole city in less than 10 minutes but I must admit it bores me to death. That is the reason I come back home once a week, just because I need to recharge myself and find the strength to continue fighting on, week in week out.

Anyway, the thing that has made me wanting to write again is because *surprise surprise* apparently i have been informed by one of my friends that somebody actually took pictures and entries from this blog and put it in her blog, as if that is her pictures and she is the one writing the entries. Ok to be honest I've actually read about this kind of thing before, in one of the blog im reading. One of the bloggers writes on how the story of how she met her future husband was totally being  copied by this one girl (but she changed the pictures) as if it is her love story. But I never would have thought that someone would copy the entries from my blog, cause its not that great a blog anyway (I write merapu kerapu stuffs).

Now I totally understand why the blogger was pretty upset about her stories being stolen. True, there might not be a big harm being done to us by someone copying our writings. Looking at it in a different perspective, we should also be flattered that somebody somewhere in the world are wishing to lead the life we are leading that they are actually stealing our stories. But the thing about stealing the stories is that they actually mock our sincerity in writing those entries. When I read back my entries that she has chose to put into her blog as her entries, I feel upset because those were the entries I wrote when I was feeling really emotional (be it happy, upset, sad, excited, etc.), those were my entries about my loved ones-my family and my friends (how could you copy my whole entry about me missing my family and and put the pictures of your family instead?? Thats quite cheap dont you think?) and I wrote them from my heart. You might think it is so easy to pen anything in a blog but it was not easy for me. Its not often that I have something to say and when I do say its because it is something really meaningful to me. It is special, its my brainchild, no matter how stupid and menial it seems to others. What the blog theft is doing is not just stealing writings, she is actually cheapening the value of those memories.

And dont you think its weird too? Why would you need to have someone else's pictures in your blog to claim that it is you? Are you that unhappy with your life that you need to pretend that you are living in a different way? I only have one advice for you dear Miss Blog Theft if you are reading this, no matter how boring, uneventful you think your life is, it is the life that Allah has created for you, and the fact that we are alive as the most perfect creature  (according to Quran) on this earth means that it is special enough. Having an interesting life does not have to mean you need to have an eventful life, day in day out, but it depends on how you look at it and how you appreciate the life you are having, every single day. Try writing your own entry, biarlah stupid pun, at least its your own entry, its something that belongs to you, and only you.

So there, I have said what I wanted to say. If u happened to read this dear Miss Blog Theft, I forgive you. But could you please please delete the pictures of me with my friends on your blog? They are my friends you know, not yours=) And thanks for copying the "about me" part. I took some time and thought hard for that and I thought its pretty lovely too (perasan) but I am sure you can come out with something as nicer or even nicer. One tip: do it from your heart.

Amik kau skali tulis panjang berjela jela. ngeh2. huwahh it feels great to write again=)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

".. Or maybe it was just that when people are lonely they cling to anything not to feel that way any more.."- The Book of Tomorrow, Cecilia Ahern

Maybe, just maybe thats what I've been doing all along

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

dont judge a book by its cover

insyaAllah, this is for the best as Allah knows best=)

Monday, June 20, 2011

i dont wanna get fat (fatter). Sob

assalamualaikum to all readerss(bajet. ceh mcm la ada orang baca pun)

anyway, here I am, writing this entry from the khatulistiwa (ape eh benda ni in english?) country- Malaysia oh tanah airkuu! I'm back, and its for good this time. I'm still finding it hard to digest that my time as a university student has finally over, i guess when its time for me to enter classrooms as a pratical teacher, only then I will realize that "this is it man, im an adult now"

its my fourth day in Malaysia now, and I think the activity that I have done the most is eating. Yes, eating eating and more eating. Since I have nothing else to do at home, to kill the boredom or to avoid more sleeping, I eat. Which is not a good thing considering that not only my mother is commenting that I am fat upon first seeing me at the airport, but also the mothers of my other friends (how is that for lowering your self esteem?). Tapi rasanya mengembang sbb pressure dalam kapal terbang la. Kaki and tangan semua jadi mcm swollen (alasan lagi).Haha. It has made me scared of going out in case I will meet my old friends, and receiving the same comment. I am also trying to brace myself from future comments that I would definitely get from my relatives soon enough when I get the chance to meet them. HUAAAAAA.

To tell you the truth its not like I wasnt aware how much weight I've been gaining during my stay in NZ (blame NZ for making me fat!) but its just that people are not commenting as much there as they are seeing me on regular basis, so they are not really aware of my proses pengembangan. Obviously that is not the case for people who havent seen for quite a while. Huaaa sempat ke nak kurus before jumpa sedara mara (berangan. joging pun malas). Takpe, berusaha!

You know one thing I actually have been wanting to talk about (related to my homecoming) is how touched I was by the love and care people had actually bestowed on me during my stay in NZ. And ive only realized that when I was about to leave NZ. I had people who honestly feel saddened by the thought of  me leaving, who actually cried at the airport as we are hugging for the last time. And I am totally humbled by the experience because I feel that I honestly dont deserve their love. I havent really done a lot for them, and I dont think I've been a very good friend, or a sister to them but they still place me as a significant someone on their heart. and everytime I though of this, I am reminded to this ayaah:

"dan ingatlah nikmat Allah ke atas kamu ketika dulunya kamu saling bermusuhan maka Allah telah menyatukan hati - hati kamu, lalu dengan nikmat Allah itu kamu bersaudara sedang kamu telah berada di jurang api neraka, lantas Allah menyelamatkan kamu daripadanya. Demikianlah dijelaskan oleh Allah kepada kamu ayat - ayatNya, mudah - mudahan kamu beroleh petunjuk" [Ali Imran: 103]

Indeed, the one who connects our hearts is Allah. Kalau aku tak join usrah dulu, mungkin tak tergerak pun nak kenal orang2 lain selain dari clique sendiri. Tapi Alhamdulillah, through usrah I dont only get friends who would love me because of Allah, but sisters for life insyaAllah..And I'm really grateful and thankful for that Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. I will always remember you guys as long as Allah allows me to. 

Thank you thank you thank you for all your love.

oh sarah anda sungguh random. tajuk lain cerita lain

nah gmbr gadis gemuk:

tak lupa juga, gmbr2 orang yang dikasihi yang ditinggalkan:

last but not least, gmbr makanan kegemaran di restoran kegemaran (ok ni tiba-tiba)

ok bye. 

Friday, May 27, 2011

humans, we are vulnerable creature

we are, believe it or not, we have too many things at stake which often is, beyond our control.

but of course as human, we tend to forgot that. we think we are invincible. we think nothing can hurt us. but do u know just one stroke of fate by Allah can change your life in a blink of an eye?

we can count how many times actually in a day we truly remember Allah. If we are honest we'll admit that even while praying our mind wanders away

but in adversity and in desperate times, we WILL for sure remember Him

we can count how many minutes in a day we remember Allah (if we are really honest, we'll admit that we even think of something else when we are praying), but in desperate times, we'll always, always come back to Allah and pray hard for His help.

only in times of adversity (death, natural disaster, etc.) we will, for sure remember how powerful He is, and how very weak, powerless, vulnerable we are, to go against the fate that has been stored for us

may we be amongst those who wont only remember Him when we are in difficulties, and may we always be strong in facing His trials in life

Thursday, May 26, 2011

simple things that make me happy

you know, just like my sister, I think there is also a possibility that I too, might have attention deficit disorder. Concentrating on one thing is so so hard for me. Anyhow, tonight I am trying very diligently to complete all the task that I have planned to do (where I listed all  in a paper and make a point to tick each one when I'm done). But just a little escapism before I start on studying for my test, look what have made me very happy today!!:

"Shimmering with glitter these cards are sure to impress" (and so they claim)

aww pretty sweet dont you think (ke aku je yang perasan). Boleh buat kad invitation bertunang (tetibe. HAHA)

the middle one is my favourite!

I bought it at warehouse stationary. It was a really good bargain (10 dolars for 24 cards, so around 42 cents each). Crazy cheap huh? Each box has 6 different designs and I think there were 36 different designs all together. It was all so pretty it was really hard to make up my mind I end up buying 2 boxes of this (I think its worth it cause im happyy).

Ok. Iklan tamat. Sarah, sila sambung buat kerja

deeper conversation

im sorry i was emotional in the last post and leaving it kind of hanging and make people wondered wat it was all about. It just so happen that the night before my birthday my youngest sister, sofea, wrote a comment on my FB wall saying "Kak sarah sofea dah ada blog" and leaving a link. I was like "What?? She is only 9 years old and already having a blog?".

Ironically, how she chose to name the blog link is kind of similar to what I have been jokingly asking (or maybe forcing haha) people to call me all this while: "Sarah the queen". But of course instead of that, the bloglink was "". Like sister like sister huh? Anyhow, if you try that link now, you wont find anything anymore as for some reason she might have deleted it (im not sure why or what actually happened)

Surprisingly, the main header for the blog (e.g. in my blog its "the chocolate and coffee of my life"), for her it was "fixing my heart". Quite a sad name for a blog dont you think? That was what I thought at first but as I read her first entry I finally understood why she chose that name. While seemingly sounding cheerful at the start, saying hello to the world and introducing her blog she then moves on to how her day was. (Im quite proud of her English actually. For a 9 years old who barely speak English at home her English was quite good, with minimal mistakes here and there). Her day was half bad half good, she wrote. On that day one of her friends refuse to be friend with her anymore, and said that she is crazy. The boys are calling her names (I forgot what it was but its obvious that she did not like it).

If this is your little sister's writing how would you feel? Imagine my feeling at that time. I was sad and angry reading it (I so happened reading it near to 12 am on 13th of May, bad timing really as my friends was all prepared to celebrate my birthday with a surprise birthday cake).

What I dont really always talk about (as talking about it might cause people to have negative impression on her when she is one of the smartest 9 year olds girl I have ever known), is my sister was actually diagnosed with ADD which cause her to be more impulsive, talk without really thinking first, inability to pay attention for a long time,which actually cant be really good for your social life. We werent aware of this at first. It was her kindergarten teacher who pointed this out. Apparently she had found it strange that sofea had refused to sit still in class and learn (she walks all around the class) but everytime she asked sofea a question, she said sofea always manage to answer her correctly, despite of her being inattentive (if attentive means you have to sit still and look straight at the teacher). My mum then proceed to do a check up and the doctor confirms this. I am not sure of this but I instinctively think my mum dont really believe this. I guess its hard to accept your child has some kind of problems.

But please, don't let my revelation about her state change how you see her. She might has ADD but she is not stupid. If you want to know, she managed to figure out my laptop's password (which I have changed earlier as it is annoying to wake up every morning with her already ransacking my laptop as if its her own) just by looking at the clue (I dont think the clue was that easy either. I felt so angry and stupid at the same time having made a fool by my younger sister. Haha).She might seem to ignore you when you're talking to her but she's the most empathetic person I have ever know (she cried watching "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" when watching the scene which revealed that a seemingly uncaring father actually was very proud of his son. And sofea was ashamed to admit this and said it was because "habuk masuk mata". yeah rite.)

So no, I am not asking for pity here. I just want to vent my frustration at how easy people bully and label others, forgetting that the people who they bully are someone special to their families too. Before you bully, or say something hurtful, remembers what if other people are doing the same thing to your loved ones, how would you feel?

At times like this, I cant help but feel what a better place this world would be, if only everyone starts following the Prophet's sunnah which is to love others as much as you love yourself. 

As narrated by Bukhari: 
"None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself"

I cant always change the way of thinking and behaviour of others, but you know what, I absolutely can change myself. So thats what I would do, I vow to treat others as to how I want them to treat me. And I vow to emphasize this again and again with my students when I will finally become a teacher. I cant turn back time and save sofea from the hurt, but I certainly would try to save others from the same pain. 
InsyaAllah, I promise.

Friday, May 13, 2011

what are u calling my sister again?

telling a 9 years old girl that she has mental problem is NOT OK
calling her a name that she doesn't like is NOT OK

dont mess with my sister please. you mess with her you mess with me

stay strong sofea. I got your back girl

Friday, May 6, 2011

DEADline ke DATEline ek

zalim:  tidak meletakkan sesuatu pada tempatnya, not placing something where it belongs

that is what I have been doing all this time along. I realized this as I was climbing the killer hill, on the way to the university. As I walk as fast I could at and make it a ritual to glance at my watch every seconds or so to make sure I can get on time to hand in the assignment (deadline: 4 p.m. finish time: 3.20p.m. went out from house: 3.30 p.m), I cant help but hate myself for once again putting me in this situation- knowing that I did not really do well in the assignment. .And like every single time, I wonder what went wrong. Why was I so slow in finishing up the assignment. Its not like I just started the night before. Others has started later than me but still manage to finish the assignment earlier. Why sarah, why?

Its because I have been zalim to myself and to the time that I had.

You know, the things about knowing your deadline means you can actually plan when you can start the assignment, or if you think like me (which I really regret by the way), it allows you to know how much time you have to procrastinate before you really have to start concentrate doing it. And you know what happened when you are only able to concentrate when you really have no extra time left? You'll end up still typing furiously whatever that you hope make sense to the marker, 30 minutes before the due time.

Well, at least I did manage to hand it in before 4 but I guess Im leaving it to chance whether Chris Bowden would like it or not. Uggh, how I wrote the conclusion still haunts me! Huhu

But you know what, there are actually bigger and more important deadline than assignments that all us human have. The thing about this deadline is you dont really know when. But its certain for everyone.

Yep. It's death

We dont really know when our time will be up, when will our breath stop, when we will be passed on to the next world, but we always have the tendency to think "well, insyaAllah, lambat lagi kuttt" "nanti tua2 sikit kutt" "takkan la mati kejap lagi aku sihat je lagi ni" that we don't really start preparing for it. We tend to have this idea that we can change to being a better Muslim when we get old, but we forgot that we cant really guarantee we would able to get there, we forgot that we cant even guarantee we would be able to take in the next breath.

And well, even if we do get to a ripe old age, can we guarantee that we would be able to perform satisfactorily, with quality (remember about doing last minute assignment?) and if its enough to guarantee you an A+, a pass to Jannah and an escape from the hell fire? Tepuk dada tanyela selera makan

Maka,marilah sama-sama mengrefleksi diri. Adakah kita sudah cukup bersedia untuk deadline yang pasti itu? Adakah sure akan dapat buku rekod amal yang A+ di akhirat nanti? Tak sure kan sarah? Maka berusaha buat amal banyak-banyak lagi, tinggalkan yang tidak patut. Boleh insyaAllah, berusaha!!

I hope by writing this down and being reflective I would be a better students next time, and a better servant to Allah, insyaAllah. Go Go Sarah!! U can do it!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

dont sleep yet, reminisce and smile

celebrating yuyu's bday. duduk tgh feeling2 mcm diri sendiri punye bday la pulak kan -_-'

rakan camera ku susah dan senang. haha
dely si fashionista, erin si gadis rempit (but the spec really does suit you), sha si gadis senyum selalu;p

with the bday girl yang enggan bergaya walaupun di bday sendiri. dan cik sha's devil choc cupcake yg mantap
gadis gadis sadis bila bershopping

bergaya ala2 bahu terpleot

leme leme ipod application.  im so having fun with other people's ipod. im still wondering if i shud get one. or if i can even afford to have one T_T

Thanks dely for being patient with me. heheh

Friday, April 22, 2011

being sick is no fun, but..

the ever growing bisul and toothache. wat a combination. and wat a way to spend your easter break huh?

but im not trying to moan and complain about that in this entry. (at least I'm trying very hard not to)

you know, although being sick (in anyway) is no fun, Allah has created sickness for a reason (like everything else that He has created in this world of course). Being in this condition right now, I can think of few good things that sickness does bring:

  1. It taught you to appreciate things that you always take for granted, especially health. Now that I am unable to shut my mouth properly because the gum in my mouth is swollen which makes chewing impossible, I cant really enjoy the food. (Of course la, bayangkan kene telan semua benda sbb x boleh kunyah, wuwu). Back in the old days when all is fine, teeth is something I hardly think about. Now it is ALL I think about. Amazing huh how something so small and usually deemed insignificant can affect a human's life in a big way? See, sickness makes you think about all this things and made you realize about how blessed we are actually to be able to do things as simple as eating. Because no, it is not that simple, it is actually a very big blessing. (Please trust me. This is from someone who cant eat for two days now T_T)
  2. It also made you realize how weak you are actually in comparison to Allah. We are not invincible at all. Even minor injury or sickness can cause us ail, misery,  uncomfortableness, helplessness, let alone bigger ones. How weak, how powerless we humans are, yet we always forget. Berapa banyak orang yang terang-terangan melanggar hukum Allah, berlagak mcm boleh hidup selamanya, yet bila dah sakit, baru nak cari Tuhan (kalau ada yang mau cari. Kalau yang x mau cari sampai mati alangkah tragisnya). So, di dalam kulit kacangnya (in a nutshell), sakit juga buat kita ingat Allah.
  3. It also allows you to practice and reflect about "Ingat 5 perkara, sebelum 5 perkara". Haa, ingat tak itu ape dia? kalau x ingat sila nyanyi lagu raihan sekarang
  • sihat sebelum sakit
  • muda sebelum tua
  • kaya sebelum miskin
  • lapang sebelum sempit
  • hidup sebelum mati
well, at least I could reflect 3 aspects of the things above (sihat sblm sakit, muda sblm tua and lapang sebelum sempit). Now that I am sick, I realize how great it was to be healthy. Now that I cant chew, it made me think about the time when I would really lose all my teeth in the old age (skarang sarah phm perasaan atuk kene kunyah guna gusi. akan berusaha menjadi lebih empathatic selepas ini). Now all that I think is about my painful  bisul and gusi, I missed the time when I dont have to worry about my health, yet I wasted my time on stupid things.

Being sick is no fun, but I appreciate learning something out of it. 

And Allah, if you wont cure my sickness as soon as I would love to, please ya Allah, please grant me the strength to bear it with a strong heart so I would not complain and moan about my pain all the time. Ameen.

"Manusia yang duduk dalam kenikmatan terlalu lama, selalu terlupa dia sememangnya berada dalam kenikmatan" [As-Syahid Syed Qutb]

Friday, April 15, 2011

I miss you

I am so sorry my blog
for I have kinda abandoned you
i dont know what had happened, but even new fancy layout doesnt provide me enough push to write something new

But tonight it so happened I had the chance of digging through my old entries
and I think I kinda miss you
I miss writing, I miss talking to myself and being reflective
So maybe, I'll try harder to start writing again
About anything, nothing and everything
Just so in the future I can look back I can say "Ahh, so that was how I was so that was what happened" and be reminded of the sweet, the bitter and both in between
InsyaAllah, if Allah is willing

And just for kicks I've decided to post this picture

yeah. I purposely put it up-side-down. got problem with that? HEHE

toodles. bonne nuit!

Friday, March 18, 2011

wish list

I wish I can forget. 
Like totally forget the things I want to forget.
Like it never happens. Like I had never encountered such situation. 

Because you wont miss the things that u dont remember can you? 
And wont be sad when you dont remember the things that upset you, can you?

it's a wishful thinking.
because you cant un-know the things that you have known.

Hi hi! I'm still alive

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

when he hurts you he hurts me too

ignorance is a bliss they say,

and its true, especially if its something you'd rather not know

like the ugly truth about someone that you'd hate to hate.

I know its too late to change things now, but everytime I face this kind of circumstances I cant help but wish you did not make the decisions you have made

Dont you know how many people you have made unhappy and hurt because of that decision, just so that you can be happy?

Dont you know that no matter how years have passed I'd still think you are a selfish monster?

Dont you know that I cant help but wonder after all this years-are you glad you've made that decision after all?

Are you happy? Can you be happy on someone else's sadness?

Please. Belajar lah jadi adil. Kat dunia ni mungkin la boleh lepas, tapi jangan lupa akhirat itu ada,

Allah Itu Ada

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

a test

I asked for help to be a mature person and oh how fast Allah answered my prayer, by setting me up with a test:

-can I accept it with an open heart when someone else receive the things that I have wanted so much?
-can I still congratulate the other person sincerely and be truly happy for her when I am the losing opponent?

Because u know, i guess one of the signs that you are an adult is when you can be happy for others, even when their happiness may cause you pain and sadness.

Imagine this situation and consider your own reaction:
You and your bestfriend enter a competition which would only have one winner. It so happen that the contestant is only the two of you. And your bestfriend won, while you dont.  

And another sign of matureness is when you can accept people having more than you, without being green with envy.

Another situation for you to put yourself into:
You and your friend graduate at the same time but he/she seems to had it easy. He/she gets more help from the parents so he/she is able to buy a car or a house earlier than you, travel a lot more than you, and is preparing for a wedding earlier than you

What's your reaction? Are you matured enough to be happy for them? Or will you distance yourselves from them so you wont have to witness their happiness while feeling hurt and sad by your own sorry life?

But u know what, as a human we cant help it from being a little bit envious of others, and that 'others' sometimes include people who are in your close social circle. But we also have to remember that as a Muslim, we should belief in the concept of "Rezeki".

If its not meant for you, then it was never meant for you from the start. And if you dont get it now, there's a possibility you might get it later. And if you never do, well maybe because Allah knows best that it is not good for you. Allah knows best, always, and whatever it is, always, always bersangka baiklah dengan Allah.

As the Prophet (PBUH) related to us that Allah says:

"I am as My servant thinks of Me" [Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim]

and another hadith:

"None of you should ever die except while assuming the BEST about Allah" [Sahih Muslim]

And writing this down, I have felt better already. Hehe

p/s- hows that for a matured girl writing? ;p

quarter-life crisis

yes. I'm changing to a new layout yet again. I guess I am still in the midst of finding myself, desperately, frantically.

I am going to be 24 this year, and it is freaking me out. just the thought of explaining the things that are worrying me caused me goosebumps, so i wont bother writing it down

So tell me, how do you teach yourself to be a grown up?

 and please, dont tell me its automatic because its just aint happening for me, yet.

It's positive, I'm currently having the so called 'quarter-life crisis'. heh.

Now please, can you heal me?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

this is what you do when you rindu

ayah, mama, amir, amy, wani, atie, sofea

pictures, in crazy order..

pictures of them in China (without me! T_T), and some pictures of amy, during pre-departure to German and when she's already in Regensburg

My family-

Although the trophy for "the person who made Sarah cried the most" can be given to one of the members in the family, I still appreciate all the time you make me laugh. 

Although there are times when I used to be so angry at my siblings I wish I can grow up fast so I can hire an assassin to kill them, I am more angry when somebody hurt them and make them cry

Although there used to be a time when I look at other families and wish that my family can be even a little bit more like them, I still wish for my own imperfect family when I am far away from them

Although there are times I wish my family would be more laid back and wont nag as much whenever I hang out with my friends, I still am thankful to know that I will have someone who would always be waiting for me when I come back home

we cannot chose who our family members are and which family we are born into but even if I were given the choice, I would not change it any other way, even the ugly and the bad bits

And although my family is not perfect, its perfect enough for me, ALHAMDULILLAH!

i love every single one of you with all my heart, more than life itself

Thank you for making my life so much meaningful. I miss you!! T_T

Saturday, January 1, 2011

sarah dan resolusinya

resolusi 2011: nak ada baby. boleh? haha (lempang laju laju)

just few simple (but hard) ones:

  • more mature
  • more organized
  • less sensitive (cengeng)
  • more beautiful
  • more useful toward others
  • lebih kuat dan tabah dalam menempuh cabaran hiyah!
  • and most importantly: kikis karat jahiliah yang masih pekat di dalam diri (go go go anda boleh melakukannya!)

all in all I just wish I can be a better person, in terms of everything. Semoga iman pun akan better juga (kerja keras!!). 

Hope this year would be a happier one, I pray I can make it a happier one insyaAllah. 

Berusaha semua!!

p/s-kenangan pada malam 31 Disember 2010: Disepak oleh perempuan Maori dari belakang. T_T entah apa dosa aku. Arigato. Semoga takde orang yang akan sepak kau macam tu di masa depan

dari mana nk kemana

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