22 is a scary number

yeah, i know that 13 may is 3 days ago but only now i feel like talking about it.

huhu..how to start..well, to be honest, i was a bit excited that my birthday is coming and all and i was anticipating the surprise my frens will prepared for me (notice the will, yakin diri jek kan?? hahaha). and the surprise was almost successful if i eny didnt forget to put away the balloons before i enter her room..hahaha.. well, around 9 pm dat nyte, eny ym me

eny ida : tido ke
sarah : tak
sarah : nape
sarah : da nak celebrate ke
sarah : hehehe
eny ida: cis ko
eny ida: perasan gile
sarah : hahaha
eny ida : knape ko yaken sgt aku akan clebrate
eny ida : jom minum teh
eny ida : hehe
eny ida : escapism lg!
sarah : haha
sarah : ok

although i sounded so yakin diri, haha, at that moment, i really thought that eny wanted to drink a cup of tea at that time (our favourite activity to escape the assignment). it is only before i switched on the kitchen's light that i suddenly get the feeling that somebody might be there in the darkness, and suddenly "SURPRISEEEE!!!" from erin, dely, ore and wawa who have been waiting in the dark for God knows how long. and the embarassing part is, although I was kinda expecting it, i still shouted as if there are robbers in the house. nasib baik diorg tak sempat rakam. huh.

anyway, they were really sweet, they even made a cake for me (tgk gmbr)! and it looked really great that made me thought that they bought the cake. i know eny is talented in bab bab cooking ni,but i didnt knoe that she is dat talented..haha.. thank u guys, i was really touched.. in fact, i actually have 3 cakes for this year birthday, one from eny,wawa,dely and erin, another home-bake cake from sha (oKAyyy,kwn2 ku semua hebat belaka bab masak2 niii.. tunjuk ajar ku sifu!) and one from mira, fnab and eka..im really blessed to have you guys as my frens..huu


ok, back to the topic. well, so dat nyte everything went well, we had a few cakes, few drinks, and a few laugh. it was when i read their cards, ppl wishing me happy birthday through the ym and sms that suddenly it strucks me: IM 22!!

ya Allah..gle scary.. 22 is like soo adult..when i dont feel adult at all.
bayangkanla, apape pun walaupun benda kecik, i still mengadu at my mom, nanges2, even pasal tensen buat esaimen
and i cant cook!!i cant cook at all.well, ok, dats a lie. i can cook telur, goreng sayur and stuffs like dat but dats about it.
22 tu for me is like umur yang da boleh kawin. well, my mum already has a one year old me at this age. when i cant even organize myself, let alone a husband and a baby
im not ready to be an adult yet, i really dont
i dont think i'll be ready even when im 30
huuuuu..it really freaks me out
im 22 and yet i dont have any sense of achievement at all
and smlm, while at mira, fnab and eka's house, an issue about marriage came up and okayyy, scaryyyy!!!
skang ni ble sume org duk risau2 takde bf takut tak kawin , me on the other hand dont feel like dat (well, except for the times after i just watched cute photo sessions of a married person) because i know im not ready
im still a child myself, still being spoilt by my parents, i dont know how i can grow up, and if i ever will.. takut ok takut...huuu

and there's nothing i can do about it. growing up is sure stressful.huh

da lame da kan tak tulis blog
i just cudden find the tym (or the mood) to write one although there were actually many intresting thing i could talk about
hmm, lets start from the beginning of the week..

Friday 8th may 2009

Happy bday bro!!
it was the day I became a sister 19 years ago (not sure whether its a gud thing or the tragedy of my life..haha, kidding)
though we're not that kind of sitcom brother-sister type (u know wat i mean, protective brother, caring sister, always in good term relationship, etc. etc. (yawnnnn...)) and we fight a lot over the silliest things (on who's turn it is to play the computer, about you always being kind to me only when u got a favor to ask, about how i was mean to u and make u feel as if u are the underachiever of our family, and the list goes on...)

the list goes on, yeah, but the thing is, at the time I was writing this and trying to think about all the things we've fought about, there was not one significant fight that is worth mentioning. its not like we never had a big fight, we actually had big fight ALL the time.

oh how i remember the times when I hated u soo much i was planning on hiring an assassin to kill you when i have the money (true story guys, no kidding, haha)
the times when my lip almost bleed because i was biting it so hard (tgh geram kann)
the times when i really feel like spanking you (but i cant because I was afraid you'll hit me back, i know u wil)

but no matter how angry I was at dat tym, and how i wished i dont have a brother like u, now when i think about it in retrospective,it seems so insignificant now (whether because i have a very bad memory or i am a very forgiving person, ehem) and watever it is, you are my brother through and through, always

there were good times too, remember the one time during hari raya that both of us talk at tok cu's house as if we havent met for a long time (sampai diorg pun heran kan, or the times when we go fishing ikan talapia with ayah at a big longkang near our house (see, we can spend some quality tym together when u are not too busy courting your computer)

and i know dat i can depend on u if i need u. i remember the time when my boss's son almost punch me in the face and when u know about this mama told me that u almost want to bashed him up too. i didnt tell u this, but i was really touched (though of coz u wud only make things messier if u did punch him)

although i seem a cold, bad, uncaring sister to u,u should know that i really care for u. u are the only brother i have, and if i ask u about your studies and what not, it is not because i like to be a bz body person but it is because im really concern about you.

and the thing about me calling u underachiever, u are nothing of that sort, trust me, cause' u are among the smartest person in our family. (haha, i still cant get over not passing the PTS test kan). i just say dat to hurt u, because u hurt me at that tym..teruk kan kite ni??we sucks as a sibling.. but the truth is, u can be great, u have the potential and i know u can



eh, terpanjang plak kan tulis pasal kau.haha..so since this is a late entry, happy belated birthday my dear bro, always know that im here for you.jgn tensen2.. kalau boleh spend la more tym with ur family.. jgnla balik umah pun asik mengadap computer je.. dis are the times to create memories. u wont be at home forever..pasni da kawen mane ade spend tym ngan mama ayah lagi kan..so now collect all the memories u can before its too late. before u suddenly realize that u have nothing worth remembering about us..