i dont hate teaching
but i hate planning
im struggle doing it everyday and I always wonder why other teachers dont look so stressed out
is it because I am overly extreme in making sure there is no single boring moment in my class (which by the way, is not always possible)
is it because i am too terrified to see even one uninterested bored student that I crack my head everytime to come out with lesson plans that i thought would deemed interesting by the students? (and still, sometimes it still fails)
i love teaching
but i missed doing nothing on weekends too
and i miss time for myself (which i dont really have anymore, even after works im still working my a** off struggle to come out with proper lesson plans)
i dont want to sound so un-thankful
but i just need to let this out, as a therapy for myself
the problem is not with the profession
the problem is with me
im the one who is problematic
too slow, too un-creative, too lack of patience
i just pray that in the future
when i re-read this entry
i would just laugh and smirk at how weak I was
and how wonderful and great it is then
its only a month and im like this
im ashamed of myself
but trust me im struggling to stay above all this and come out as a winner
against my own self
prayers are needed:)
O Allah, please dont make Sarah among the loser, please keep Sarah strong, please make ease for Sarah in everything she does, and please give her the best for her, and give her the faith to believe that, because Ya Allah verily You know best, when she knows nothing. (thank u for reading this doa with me and for me haha)
school breakkkk when are u comingggg
