|Twinkle twinkle little stars. How captivating I found you are|
so today i am back in my beloved (heh) mukah
went to school after isya' prayer (yes i am that committed and hardworking, hehe, jk) to look out for the new time table so I can plan what to teach tomorrow
then I went back home, walking (my home is just inside the school compound).
and I did what ive always loved doing while walking back. I looked at the sky. (for your information, the stars here are splendid. i guess because there are no light pollution, no tall buildings, no haze whatsoever).
You can actually see the star constellations (buruj) clearly. I swear i have seen the northern star/polaris/buruj pari a few times already (the only constellation i am sure about because I learned about in NZ and also because it happens to be the easiest to detect hehe). I also might have seen the buruj belantik but I cant be really sure (belajar time upsr beb. which is soo long ago). Once, I had even caught the sight of a falling star, it is that amazing and magical (well at least, to me)
So while I was walking alone and watching the mesmerizing stars, I had a thought "I should have worked as an astronomer, that would be super interesting"
Although it might sound ridiculous and unattainable, I cant help but wonder how different my life would be like if I had chosen a different path.
But havent we all do that, at least once? Wishing u are somewhere else, other than where you are right now. Wishing u look differently, from how you looked right now. Wishing u made a different choice than what u have decided now. We do it all the time, conscious or unconsciously. We especially do it when we dont have or have little control over our current situation.
That is what we call as escapism. Wishful thinking. Although its nice entertaining the thoughts (e.g wishing u are vacationing in switzerland than in your stuffy workplace), it wont get you anywhere unless you work for it. But not all wishes are workable, yes? Like me wishing to be an astronomer, I think it is a little too late. Like some medium height person wishing to be taller, I dont think he/she can achieve that without massive painful expensive operation.
So this is what I am going to propose to myself. Make my current situation my dream. My wish. Why not? It used to be one, before Ive been burned out. I used to fight for it like hell studying for my A levels and in university. I am sure there are lots of people out there fighting to be in my place, or at least get a decent job.
And I believe that everything has its reason. Ada hikmah. And I believe every hardship and difficulties I am facing will be repay with goodness. As mentioned by the Prophet s.a.w:
“Sungguh ajaib dalam urusan orang mukmin. Sesungguhnya setiap urusan baginya ada kebaikan dan perkara ini tidak berlaku melainkan kepada orang mukmin. Sekiranya dia diberikan sesuatu yang menggembirakan lalu dia bersyukur, dan sekiranya apabila dia ditimpa kesusahan lalu dia bersabar. Maka kebaikan baginya” (Riwayat Muslim)
“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).
So chaiyo Sarah. You dont have to be an astronomer to be great. At least in Allah's eyes =)