Saturday, January 10, 2015

Day 2: Of biawak, tracksuits and Shopping Complex

Cantik kan kan kan? Picture is without any filter

So I decided to stop moping around over my fate of being alone and company-less this weekend

After pouring my heart out to my old housemate and she ridiculing me on being so lembik over this trivial matter and talking about stupid stuff a thing or two, I was back to my old self- confident, strong, without a care in the world. Hah! In my dream HAHA.  No la,  but I was back to being a more logical and positive thinking person

         Deciding I should take advantage of the beautiful green lake just outside the gate of the school (seriously, it is so green green green everywhere, I feel it is believable that all those pixies and fairies and elves we read in the children story book can really exist here), I made the resolution to wake up early and jog the next morning. Surely this is the activity one can do alone without appearing awkward, right? But I guess God has other plans for me. I overslept and by the time I'm ready it was already 8.30. But that is still consider very early in the morning kan? Although I did have second thoughts on just staying at home and do zumba workout instead, I felt that I'll be very ashamed of myself for having such a weak commitment so I still decided to go.

       While driving there, I met few joggers who are already red-faced, out of breath, sweating profusely, already walking slowly. What?? Are they done already?? Seriously at what time these guys woke up? Four?? I also met a few of groups of male joggers, and nil female joggers. And that made me really nervous. I mean, why must all these group of men jog together? Bukan perempuan je ke biasanya jogging beramai ramai? I mean what are these men scared of? So in return, I become the one who were scared of them. 

      Considering the fact that it might be dangerous for me to jog alone I continued driving until I finally found a spot which is more busy with old citizens and family members. Parked the car, crossed the road, walked slowly while still making decisions whether I should really jog today, I realized it was getting too hot already. Ok takpela, amik gambar tasik je, I decided. And that is when I saw a crocodile swimming slowly but menace-fully in the lake. OMG, crocodile in the lake?? Really? Is this place really suitable for people to bring over their small kids? I was asking all these questions in my mind before I realized it was actually a lizard, a very big one at that. I was really about to take picture of the big swimming lizard and post it to social media (like everyone loves to do when finding something interesting that is boast-worthy) when it decided to rest from its swim and go climb the tebing very near to where I was standing. NICE. Very nice. So I had to cancel my intention and go save myself instead. Its not that I am scared of reptiles or anything, seriously, I can even touch snakes at the zoo, but at that time I remembered what my mum used to tell me: "biawak kalau gigit orang dia takkan lepas sampai bunyi petir". Ok, I dont know if that is a mitos or apa but I am not going to find that out today. Dahla tak nmpk mcm nak hujan pun. hoho

       So back in the car, feeling sad for being such a loser who cant even jog, I called my friend who also had gone through the experience of being transferred to a new place with zero friends at the start. And anyway, I really need my talking fix for today, or I'll go crazy. She cheered me on, saying "this too shall pass" while I wailed saying I cant wait for it to pass alreadyy. Seriously, I was jealous seeing everyone I saw who is with friends, I was even jealous of the birds flying together!

        Feeling a little bit better after talking to her, since I am already out, I decided to go and buy the ironing board while getting to know the town better. Konon konon nak independent la dari guna waze sebab nk belajar ingat jalan tapi last last sesat lagi sikit nak masuk highway pergi Alor Setar.Hoh. I ended up going to AEON Taiping, with my tracksuit, tshirt purple mrsm mukah and sport shoes no less. HUAAA selekeh abes, just not my kind of style. Dah la kedai pun tak bukak lagi. Pekerja-pekerja siap masih tunggu lagi kat luar. HAHA. Sebab dah tau kedai AEON tu ada jual perkakasan rumah jugak, I straight away head to the shop right after it struck 10 a.m. And guess what, because I was their first customer, all these workers were actually lining up dekat depan kedai dan sepanjang jalan masuk to greet me as if I am some kind of an heir or a Shopping Complex tycoon I watch on Korean dramas. Seriously, if you watch stairway to heaven you'll know what I mean. Dahla I was feeling really conscious wearing my tracksuits kasut sport and all. NICE, really nice! Haihh..

        Anyway, even with all the hiccups and embarrassing moment, I'm still glad I went out daripada terkurung dalam bilik menangisi nasib hidup bersendirian. At least I got a story to tell, hah? ;)


Friday, January 9, 2015

Day 1

Familiarity and being familiar is a privilege
And I only realize that when I am the outsider

Today was the day when I started working at my new school
For your info, I was dreading about this since I knew I got to be transferred here
Not to be grateful or anything, I mean I am glad I am now only a driving distance from my hometown (although it still takes 3 hours, and for the record, driving alone really sucks, and no amount of sing along songs that u've asked your brother to burn into the CD would help you stay awake. Keeping my focus on the road was a real challenge)
It's just that I really dont look forward to being the new thing in town.

Before today, I thought the thing that would make me uncomfortable is people giving me unwanted attention. Somehow being new you just stand out, no matter how bland you try to be. You become a curious thing, an unanswered mystery. Heh, I sure can be imaginative. Instead, today I realize that what I hate more than that is the unfamiliarity with others. As I watched my new housemate greeting her colleagues and asking questions about their holiday and chit chatting about the latest gossip in the media, I suddenly felt terribly lonely. I mean you only get to do that when you are close with them. As a new thing I just stood beside her trying my best to smile sweetly and secretly hoping people would give me some attention and just ask me about anything because I just couldnt stand being beside her and not knowing what to say to this group of people who are talking animatedly about the stuff I have totally no idea about. 

During that time, I cant help wondering how it would be like if I am at my old workplace, during the first day of school. Surely I'll be the minah kepoh asking everyone about their cuti. I can almost guarantee you my voice would be one of the faintly visible ones while the Principal is giving a speech about the more serious but boring matter in front. I guess it just sucks not being able to be myself. Dont get me wrong, I know I can make friends easily, I talk a lot and I can crack a lot of stupid jokes (but only with friends that have the same level of jokes hehe) but I mean you can only do those stuffs when you're familiar with that person, right? 

Therefore, right now, I am really missing all my familiar friends who know how I am like and accept me for what I really am. I am having the weekend all to myself. Since I find dining alone would make me look pathetic, I am so not looking forward to drive around the town miserably ordering take outs. 

Cant wait to put this awkward phase behind me so I can get back to being my makcik kepoh self pronto! 

Sunday, January 4, 2015

2015. say a little prayer

Less tears more laughter please, that's all im praying for. Praying the same for everybody too <3 p="">

dari mana nk kemana

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