deeper conversation

im sorry i was emotional in the last post and leaving it kind of hanging and make people wondered wat it was all about. It just so happen that the night before my birthday my youngest sister, sofea, wrote a comment on my FB wall saying "Kak sarah sofea dah ada blog" and leaving a link. I was like "What?? She is only 9 years old and already having a blog?".

Ironically, how she chose to name the blog link is kind of similar to what I have been jokingly asking (or maybe forcing haha) people to call me all this while: "Sarah the queen". But of course instead of that, the bloglink was "sofeathequeen.blogspot.com". Like sister like sister huh? Anyhow, if you try that link now, you wont find anything anymore as for some reason she might have deleted it (im not sure why or what actually happened)

Surprisingly, the main header for the blog (e.g. in my blog its "the chocolate and coffee of my life"), for her it was "fixing my heart". Quite a sad name for a blog dont you think? That was what I thought at first but as I read her first entry I finally understood why she chose that name. While seemingly sounding cheerful at the start, saying hello to the world and introducing her blog she then moves on to how her day was. (Im quite proud of her English actually. For a 9 years old who barely speak English at home her English was quite good, with minimal mistakes here and there). Her day was half bad half good, she wrote. On that day one of her friends refuse to be friend with her anymore, and said that she is crazy. The boys are calling her names (I forgot what it was but its obvious that she did not like it).

If this is your little sister's writing how would you feel? Imagine my feeling at that time. I was sad and angry reading it (I so happened reading it near to 12 am on 13th of May, bad timing really as my friends was all prepared to celebrate my birthday with a surprise birthday cake).

What I dont really always talk about (as talking about it might cause people to have negative impression on her when she is one of the smartest 9 year olds girl I have ever known), is my sister was actually diagnosed with ADD which cause her to be more impulsive, talk without really thinking first, inability to pay attention for a long time,which actually cant be really good for your social life. We werent aware of this at first. It was her kindergarten teacher who pointed this out. Apparently she had found it strange that sofea had refused to sit still in class and learn (she walks all around the class) but everytime she asked sofea a question, she said sofea always manage to answer her correctly, despite of her being inattentive (if attentive means you have to sit still and look straight at the teacher). My mum then proceed to do a check up and the doctor confirms this. I am not sure of this but I instinctively think my mum dont really believe this. I guess its hard to accept your child has some kind of problems.

But please, don't let my revelation about her state change how you see her. She might has ADD but she is not stupid. If you want to know, she managed to figure out my laptop's password (which I have changed earlier as it is annoying to wake up every morning with her already ransacking my laptop as if its her own) just by looking at the clue (I dont think the clue was that easy either. I felt so angry and stupid at the same time having made a fool by my younger sister. Haha).She might seem to ignore you when you're talking to her but she's the most empathetic person I have ever know (she cried watching "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" when watching the scene which revealed that a seemingly uncaring father actually was very proud of his son. And sofea was ashamed to admit this and said it was because "habuk masuk mata". yeah rite.)

So no, I am not asking for pity here. I just want to vent my frustration at how easy people bully and label others, forgetting that the people who they bully are someone special to their families too. Before you bully, or say something hurtful, remembers what if other people are doing the same thing to your loved ones, how would you feel?

At times like this, I cant help but feel what a better place this world would be, if only everyone starts following the Prophet's sunnah which is to love others as much as you love yourself. 

As narrated by Bukhari: 

"None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself"

I cant always change the way of thinking and behaviour of others, but you know what, I absolutely can change myself. So thats what I would do, I vow to treat others as to how I want them to treat me. And I vow to emphasize this again and again with my students when I will finally become a teacher. I cant turn back time and save sofea from the hurt, but I certainly would try to save others from the same pain. 

InsyaAllah, I promise.