Thursday, January 10, 2013

rambura rambu ramba

i had a field day of disappointment and anger today. Well, 'field day' is not really a good phrase to use since it suggests a day of joy but I guess being trapped in all this different feeling makes me wants to laugh at the irony of it all.

Wish list:


  1. I wish I was a better teacher. The one who can explain a concept clearly and knowledgeably so that the students would be able to feel confident with me. Not like what happened during the class today. I feel bad, I am sorry dear kids
  2. I wish I knew how to handle the Police Cadet better. I am sorry again dear cadets, I have unintendedly showed the weak side of me. I mean not having any experience handling extra-curricular activity is quite hard. At least those who did their Diploma of Education in Malaysia had some ideas on what to do. Me? When there was still a lottttt of time left after I have done everythingg that was on my agenda, I was stuck on what else to do. You see, quick thinking is something I have not mastered yet. I ended up asking the students to sew the batches on to their beret. Police Cadet= Sewing club? 
  3. I wish I had more confidence in myself. I mean if I did what I have planned for my class today and not change my plan at the last minute and did what my colleague did with his class (just because I thought his material was better. I do think I suffer from inferiority complex) but end up struggling implementing the new lesson plan and messed it all up, I think I would not have feel this incompetent.
  4. I wish people dont make faces after listening to their friend's advice (which was requested by themselves on the first place). It was hurtful. And totally immature

I guess they are not really a wish list. I mean wish lists are supposed to be wishing getting something you have not received yet and what I did was wishing that I could change something that had happened. Which I can't.

But well luckily most of them are something that I could work on, right? Like

1) I could be a better teacher. I will not waste my time wondering over what the students think of me. If they thought I was bad, well, I could always work to be better to change that perception of theirs

2) In the future I should always prepare a back up plan incase the activity that I have planned finish earlier than I thought. That, would save me from the embarassment of not knowing what to do with the extra time

3) I should have more confidence in myself. Do what I feel I am comfortable with instead of worrying that I got it all wrong and change my plan at the last minute. Which was stupid

4) I cant change people's attitude. but I cant help to feel hurt either. I guess I can always talk directly about how it is not really nice to give inappropriate response when they were the first one who asked for advice.

Haha this is me re-assuring myself again. Sorry if I seemed bipolar or having multiple personalities.
I am tired, I am missing my family and my friends and I am worrying about the ever increasing work loads. But I am learning to take it one step at a time and surviving it insyaAllah
Like I have read on the FB, dont say oh Allah I have a great problem, say hey problem, I have a great Allah!  Chaiyo everyone. Berusaha! ^_^

Nah, a tired smile fo ya from pompuan hidung gergasi ni. Haha. (eh tp bersyukur je tau ada hidung)


3 comments:

Faramidi said...

Tiba2 berdebar nak mengajar.. kite ni lagi la xde background langsung nak handle class.. apa lagi bila dgr nak kene buat study plan semua.. :(

on a lighter note,hidung gergasi? hahaha! xboleh tahan.. aset kot tu :D

mizzshaina said...

haha ye. mmg patut berdebar.. tapi Alhamdulillah selepas semakin banyak kelas semakin okay.. awk nanti akan mengajar mrsm gak ke faraha? mestila ajar budak kolej kan?

Iynas Omar said...

hidung oh hidung! hidung i besar gak hehe

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