time and time again

few quick thoughts for tonight (just need to de-brief myself, fuhh)

1. Im super bz dis week, organizing event for ihya' Ramadhan (menghidupkan ramadhan), dont even have the time to go through my assignment yet, which is due next week, but as crazy as it seems, I kinda like the busy-ness of it all, and I think Im gonna miss it (though of course theres times when I wish I can just scream out of the pressure and then go to sleep). Having things to keep me occupied in a way protects me from doing lagho (unnecessary) things that doesnt benefit me (which btw includes, going through random blogs, watching trailers, looking at old albums for the 100th time just for the sake of having something to do apart from doing the assignments, etc2.)
2. I totally suck as a leader. I cant seem to make my own decision (always afraid to make one, afraid that it would be disaster). I cant think outside the box. I delegate tasks poorly. Sometimes I blame other people for my own mistake. I cant handle pressure (poor eny has to hear it all). This is of course not an exhaustive list. Just ask my team mates, they'll give u more. But it is ok. It is a challenge and I will try to learn. I will. Verily Allah has promised that He does not test us the test which we cannot cope. And thinking of that, I know I can handle this. Because Allah knows I can handle this. InsyaAllah. Berusaha Sarah!! hiyahh
3. Working with VIP is totally nerve-wrecking (especially when the title is Dato' Dr Professor, what title do u address him with anyway?? dat was my dillema). You dont know the right way to talk about, scared that there might be words inappropriate that might offends him (I almost talked in bahasa baku, imagine that), you're even afraid to make eye contacts and when suddenly your eyes wondered away because something else caught ur attention even just for a second, you're scared shit to look back at him incase he noticed that ur mind wandered away while he was talking. But all in all, he is just a human, its not like he talks in alien language (now I know that HAHA), and you can learn a lot from their experience (yes, one of the tips to win their hearts is to let THEM conquer most of the conversation, they'll like that), and if you're lucky, you get few gems (not real gems u mata duitan!!), pointers on things that u wont learn inside the class
4. People need to be reminded as frequent as possible, because we tend to forget. This week is the Islamic Awareness week in NZ and they held many activities and talks through out the week. The talks which is mostly at night, was quite a challenge for me, who is busy with class during the day, having a lot of planning to do for the Ihya' programme, but Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, Allah still make it easier for me to attend the talks (although it was out of guilt for Sha at first.hehe. lepas tu btolkan niat cpt2, alhamdulillah) and subhanallah, every talks I went there was always something that touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Subhanallah. Thanks Allah for always guiding my heart through all this brothers and sisters. I wish I can be as good as them in talking and touching other people's heart (In future maybe, hehe)
5. I can do this I can do this I can do this (psycho diri sendiri). huhu. I need to give a welcoming speech on saturday. Nerve wrecking ok with all the VIPs and what not..huhu.. but I can, I can!! bercakap je pun kan.. bukan kene berdendang dendang hahaha psycho.
6. I LOVE ALLAH AND I MISS RASULULLAH!! huhu. after watching video "the chosen one" by Maher Zain and reading other people comments on how they are touched by the video which made them cry out of missing him so much, I cried too. This reminds me of  story told in one of the talk about one of the Prophet's sahabah. One day he cried so badly and Rasulullah asked him why. He told him that he is sad, because he would miss the prophet soo much in the day hereafter because even if he enters paradise, he would not be in the same Jannah as the Prophet so he would not be able to meet him anymore. And then Rasulullah s.a.w said "You will be with the one you love". So there- careful who you loves. If you love an idol so much, you would be with him. But where is that, heaven or hell? you decide.

Wahhh..ape mengarut panjang2 nii.. hahaha.. actually its an escapism. I need to write the welcoming text, but dont know where to start.But I will, I can! (im into positive thinking this days ;))

Happy Friday

"In the end what matters is not what you have, its what you give"