yesterday she was abnormally happy
happy teasing her housemates
happy using phone application that could actually make u see how you would look like after make up
happy laughing at her friend's ridiculously ugly picture of what could be her future son/daughter picture after using the apps that could combine you and your spouse's face
in all that giddiness and happiness she did wonder to herself why is she this happy, surely there is no catch to this? she silently hoped.
She hoped. but luck is not on her side.
so it's true then, what her mother has always told her. Don't laugh too much, or you will cry later. Well at least, in her case.
there is nothing that yesterday's simple carefree moment can prepare for what she had to face today.
it's not like she didnt know that there is high possibility that her worst experience would repeat itself again. it's not like she did not try to harden her heart to prepare for that possibility, so that she wont feel as much hurt and pain again. but she cant help but stupidly hope. hope that there is some sense in that person to think about other's people feeling for once instead of his own gratification.
that past scar, might become fainter now, but it is still not fully healed. but no, that person dont think that pain is hurtful enough. that he had to cut, slash, slit, crush, it again and again.
she wishes she can choose to be heart-less. so she will stop hurting. or at least she can turn her heart into a stone, and stop feeling anything ever again.
she wishes for many things.
but wishes dont seem to be too fond of her.
