finally, something to talk about

da lame rasenye tak mencemar duli di blog sendiri. ble pegi blog org lain, rase mcm best plak nak tulis something. tapi ble da start type, mesti tiba2 timbul satu mood yang buat diri menkenselkan hajat utk menulis. biasenye sbb rase benda yang nak dicerita tu tak intresting, sbb x tau nak express dgn sbetulnya, sbb lost for words utk menggambarkan perasaan diri yang sbenarnye, sbb rase takde sbb nak cerita pada dunia tentang kehidupan yang membosankan, sbb rase penulisan saye tak menarik dan tak sewitty blog org lain. tapi xpe, sbb nak melarikan diri dari buat benda yang spatutnye punye pasal, saye sanggup bertungkus lumus tulis blog. heheh. (just like old times when i write blogs as an escapism from the ever ferocious assignmentss. hoh. old times la sgt!)

so new things about my life so far:

1. I've gotten over my obsessions of korean dramas (well, korean cuties to be exact, Boys Over Flowers' main hero to be precise). U dont know how terrible my obsession can be. Unless u are my housemate and share the same internet connection and realized how often i am hooked on the internet just to satisfy my obsession of the day (and this ranges from a hero of a new released movies such as Robert Pattinson to reality tv stars,such as, err,, tomok. ok, too much information,ehem.) My obsession is so bad that I can be moody, restless, numb, irrational, for one week just thinking about them. there was this one time when I was obsessed over Star Wars characters- Anakin and Amidala, about how tragic and ironic their love is that I almost went crazy being sad for them! Ye, mmg menakutkan ble saye obsess.

So wat change? This one website changed me. Changed me to the extent I want to be a completely different person. This website basically talks about the ways the Kufar has clouded our mind, judgement, our way of thinking about the world and the way we are 'supposed' to lead our lives,etc. by using many ways, dominantly through the mass media and entertainment that we no longer live our lives the way Allah wants us to. This website main aim is to wake the Muslims up and free our mind from all those propaganda that is just there to ruin us, now, and hereafter.

I TOTALLY recommend you guys to check it out. One of the article I read at the blog was about Dajal, and this one really freaked me out. Freaked me out to the extent saye takut dan saye insaf. Kne bace sendiri utk rase. Kite mungkin rase, ala, lame lagi kut kiamat. Rileks lar. ye ke? tahun baru hari tu gerhana bulan dan gerhana matahari terjadi hanye selang seminggu from each other, and both on Friday. tahun baru hari tu jugak kite dikejutkan dgn mcm2 bencana alam di merata dunia. Mcm mane kalau? so BE PREPARE. semoga kite tak termasuk dlm golongan2 yang menyesal, AMIN YA ALLAH.

that is why, saye berazam utk menjadi muslimah yang lebih baik selepas ini. cube. dan doa jugak bersungguh sungguh Allah tetapkan iman. and saye harap kalau saye lupe, ble bace balik blog ni, saye ingat.


2. On a different note, saye ade buah hati baru (mesti korg kate apehal lak, tadi insaf2 tetibe citer pasal buah hati plak, rileks2, dgr dulu). Name die muszaphar. ala, mcm name angkasawan kite tu la. hensemm. die ni mmg demand my undivided attention la, ketip kuku pun x boleh, nak type2 kat laptop pun x boleh. ngada tul. tidor nak same2, kalau i bangun lmbt die sibuk bising2. die suke ble org garu2 badan die.huh? hehe. unfortunately, he is just a cat..hehehe..oh, tapi bestla ble ade org (oit kucing tu org ke?) nak bermanja manja dgn kita. adik2 i sume da besar2, i buat ngada2 nak peluk pun die jual mahal. kuang asam tul.

Encik mus, buah ati terbaru

3. Saye menghadapi mid 20's crisis.haa. org biase dgr mid age crisis je kann. tapi mmg wujud la crisis ni. cleo pun ckp. i ingat i sorg2 jek yang rase mcm tu. ramai ngupenye. it all started during my visit to Terengganu almost two weeks ago. mase tu gi pasar payang. so mase tanye2 kat salesgirl tu saye da terbiase panggil "kak", skali salesgirl tu tanye, "ni umur brape?" saye jwbla "22", rupe2nye die lagi muda, baru 21. huhu. skali kwn saye menyampuk "22 ape sarah, tahun ni nak masuk 23 laa" 23 u know! 23!ohhh.. terus tertekan ble sedar or dlm bahasa terengganunye "tekkanggg!!". sbbnye saye rase umur ni umur yang org da label as 'dewasa', when in reality i dont feel like an adult at all! keje pun x lagi, masak pun x pandai lagi, future pun x nmpk lagi. menakutkannnnnnnnnnnn. org kiri kanan da kerja, org kiri kanan da kawin. wahhhhhh, da pressure!!

but i guess for now i just have to go with the flow. yela, susah hati tak tentu pasal pun bukan bleh buat apape kan. and I pray that Allah wud give me the best. yang mane boleh improve i'll improve, insyaAllah..

Mendengar  dgn tekun nasihat bagaimana menangani mid 20's crisis oleh Dr Eny sambil comot memakan roti

4. And last but not least, wats new with me? Im going to Indonesia tomorrow! the flight is at 9.30 a.m and i havent pack anything yet! packing is my least favourite activity in the world! how am i suppose to pack lightly when everything seems important to me (different shoes suit differents clothes right??) pray for me a safe journey (yes, with all the recent earthquakes going on around the world, it is quite nervewrecking, but u die when u die right, even at your own house, in your own room). To anyone who is reading this(which I very much doubt), have a good weekend ahead, jgn gembira sampai lupe Allah.=))


p/s- i am trying to change my look. to be more muslimah, which means more covered, more sopan, doakan ditetapkan hati!!

and muszaphar just use my precious leather handbag as his scratching post!! tidakkkkkkkkkkk

aku x suke ble

aku x suke ble aku x boleh ckp secare terus terang yang aku sbenarnye x suke sesuatu benda tu. contohnye, aku x ske kwn aku smoking ble lepak dgn aku sbbnye 1) aku mmg x ske kwn2 aku smoking, especially perempuan, sgt tak manis kelihatannya (ye aku tau, aku x merokok pun xdela aku nmpk manes, but watever), dan juga (kne ke bagitau utk kesekian kalinya?) merokok itu membahayakan kesihatan (as obviously ditunjukkan dlm gmbr2 amaran di atas kotak2 rokok itu) 2)aku x boleh nak mkn dgn bau asap rokok melilau lilau kat idong aku.

sadly enough, aku adalah jenis org yang x reti nak berkata tidak even padahal aku x suke (sbb tu la aku sering terpedaya dgn sales girl/sales men). ble aku ckp kau ingat aku gurau2, padahal aku ckp yg btul. org kate aku cute sbb ckp lepas dgn blurnye(ntah ape yg cutenye aku x phm). if only once in a while people wud take me seriously. if only people wud understand that i really speak from my heart and bukannye mengeluarkan ayat2 pedas utk membuat mereka tertawa.

haish. entahle

fool fool fool

Oh.my.God

I might have just stupidly gone out of my way to make a big fool out of myself (which, I can assure you, not for the first time and positively, wont be the last time either).

about hope

I hate myself for hoping. because it exposes myself to the risk of being dissapointed, dejected, rejected, feeling unworthy, low self esteem,etc2 (feel free to add the synonyms).

sometimes i hope good things can just happen when i wasn't expecting it. so i dont have to go through the misery and torture of waiting, being afraid, being unsure, and all sorts of other turmoils. But will those unexpected things taste as sweet and as good as something that finally goes out my way after all the times i have spent hoping and waiting?

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”- anonymous


p/s- im not making any sense tonight, I know. and its intended that way. wahaha. sorry for the unsophisticated observation of hope. im just writing about wat i feel so I can feel better. and i already am =)

wise wise words

i actually saw this at my fren's fb status and i knew i had to write it down somewhere because it is so so wise. i wonder who is the creator. wise2 person. so here goes:

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."

i love it.

not for the faint hearted who lives in wellington (sambungan)

tak sangka pule ade permintaan yg tinggi utk cerita ini..hahaha.. malu je kalau sebenarnye tak best mane kann..well, at least i succeeded in creating the sense of anticipation, didnt i??

okla, ceritanye, weekend aritu, saye ke rumah jiran saye yg bernama K (ecece, cam secret sgt je kann, u know who i meant) utk mengambil movie dari hard disk nye (tgk bdk ni, tak sedar diri esaimen tak buat lagi). kebetulan aritu seorg abg bernama R pun ade jugak kat rumah K sbb nak amik movie gak (oh, sblm tu, abg R blanje kami aiskrem harini, terima kasih abg R!! semoga murah rezki dan boleh blanje lagi). Abg R ni tinggal jauh sket dari kwsn perumahan kitorg, kne jalan 20 minit camtu baru sampai. die slalu lepak2 rumah si K ni dan balik lewat mlm ke rumahnye.

out of curiosity, saye pun tanyela "pnah tak kne kacau?". soalan tu sbenarnya bertanyekan same ade pernah tak kene kacau dgn mat2 atau minah2 mabuk.. biasela negara org putih ni, asal malam je mabuk pastu jerit2 kacau org pastuh kencing merata rata (ni takde kne mengena, tapi jijik jugak). tapi si abg R ni pulak interpret soalan tu as "pnah tak kne kacau dgn hangtu ah".. aduhaii..

"maksud sarah kne kcau dgn benda2 tu ke?" tanye beliau meminta kepastian. padahal taknak tau pun pasal ni, tapi tula, i've always been fascinated by the things im scared of. "Oh, pernah ke?" tanye saye dgn semangat dan rase ingin tahu yg tinggi yang sudahnye membawa kesusahan pada diri sendiri.

"tak pnahh, tapi org lain pernah laa" kate die. "Tau tak simpang bla bla bla tu?" (die takdela sbut "bla bla bla" ye kwn2. bla bla bla sbb saye tak ingat exactly name simpang tu, tapi saye boleh agak2 la kat mane).

"ha, tauu"kataku, sambil merapatkan bdn kpd kwnku E. "kat situ da dua kali org nampak pon***nak (some letters are being ommited because the writer is concern it will be too much for some readers to take, or perhaps, for the writer herself to take)

"haa?? biar betul? kat nz pun ade gak pon***nak??" kataku, tak percaya.

abg R angguk. "maybe benda tu ikut die kut dari malaysia" aduhaiiii.. meremang aku kejapp.. bleh plak ikut2 kan..

dan aku pule dgn bodohnye bertanye pulak camne bentuk rupe makhluk yang ditemui itu. bodoh bodoh bodohhhh!!! dan abd R tu pun cerita la.. (saye taknak citer la camne rupe die, phm2 sendiri la rupe standard die tu, saye taknak tak boleh tido pule mlm ni)

si K pulak gi tmbh cerita2 seram ekslusif dari malaysia. I should have stopped them, but like I've mentioned above, ive always been fascinated and attracted to that kind of stories, so i continue to probe and listened. i can feel the fear creeping, enveloping me.

saye yang asalnye duduk atas kerusi, terus melompat bersila di bwh sbb da rase cuak.. "wey K, teman kitorg balik umah tau nanti" desak ku.walaupun sbenarnye rumah kitorg 2 minit je jaraknya. mungkin sbb nmpk sgt muka aku yang da ketakutan dan cuak, abg R pun mengeluarkan mathurat dari begnya dan suruh aku bace maksud ayat2 yang boleh dijadikan pelindung. kasi nasihat jugak. "jangan takut sgt, anggap benda2 tu makhluk Allah yang lain, contohnya mcm kucing tu, die takde kuasa pun" Im still not convinced. barula skang aku menyesal gi tanye lebih2. "takut sgt pada benda ni boleh bwk kpd syirik sarah" ok, aku da rase berdosa dan takut syirik. tapi aku still tak berjaya hilangkan takut jugak.

"ingat, benda tu lagi suke kacau kalau kita takut". Ok. ayat ni la yang buat aku traumatized. sbbnye, camne ni, aku da pun takut. so dlm otak aku mmg byg benda2 ni nak attack aku sbb aku da takut tadi. bygkan, aku nak masuk toilet pun aku keluar balik, sbbnye ble basuh muke, aku takut kat cermin tu nmpk benda lain. ble duduk kat jmbn,aku takut ade tgn menjulur dari luar. ye, aku boleh jadi sgt kreatif ble takut. ble buat esaimen tak bleh plak pandai mcm ni. mlm tu aku sendiri terkejut dgn betapa penakutnye aku. tak sangka sampai boleh thp mcm tu.

ya Allah, teruknya hambaMu ini. guys, pls nasihatkan aku supaya tak jadi penakut sgt. huhu.

hoho..tu la ceritanye.. tak lah seram mane pun kan? tapi mlm tu aku mmg seram kut. sbb selama ni tak expect benda2 tu boleh jadi gak kat negara omputih ni..huhu..

p/s-haha, sorry la, tadi memula start as "saye" da bertukar jadi "aku" plak sbb syok sgt cerita

not for the faint hearted who lives in wellington

hehe. cam gempak je kan tajuk entry kali ni. and org2 yang kenal rapat dgn saye mesti terlintas di dlm otaknye berkata "heh?dis coming from sarah yang penakut tu? tak logik tak logik.."

sbb saye penakut la saye da 2 kali membatalkan hasrat saye utk tulis pasal benda ni. tapi mlm ni, under the duvet and gebar yang berjaye di panaskan oleh electric blanket, dlm kesamaran mencari2 papan kekunci yang tepat utk ditekan hanya dgn bantuan lampu screen laptop,dan dgn bateri laptop pink ku yang tinggal 75% je remaining (bateri sudah memberi warning minta diganti, ngaaaaa, duit lagiiiii), saye nak citer jugak. sbb saye rase benda ni intresting utk dicerita. lagipun jarang skali ade benda menarik boleh diceritakan so ble ade peluang tak patut dilepaskan, setuju? (aish, panjang pule mukadimah budak ni. kalaula menaip esaimen pun boleh sepanjang dan sepantas ni, tentu da boleh packing2 baju tunggu waktu balik malaysia)

sbenarnye citer die pasal ni.. slame duduk kat nz ni kan, ramai rakan2 sependapat mengatakan bahwa mereka rase lebih berani ble ade kat sini berbanding kat malaysia. berani mcm mana tu? berani dgn manusia, contohnye the probability of kne ragut, kne kacau di siul siulkan oleh lelaki yg biul ble jalan sorg2 sgt tipis la kat sini. (mungkin sbb mereka lebih berminat curik bank, ehhh, tp x jugakk, and mungkin juge sbb perempuan melayu yang menutup aurat tak menarik berbanding yang lebih terdedah dan menjemput utk dpandang, terima kasih ya Allah!!).

lagi satu, berani juge dgn bukan manusia sbbnye ble balik malam pun x rase takut mcm kat malaysia, kononye takde hangtu ah (paham tak hangtu ah tu ape? buang huruf 'g' dan 'ah' utk perkataan sbenar) kat sini sbb org kat sini tak percaya benda2 tu, so die tak wujud kata mereka. pastu diorg ckp kalau wujud pun mesti kelakar sbb die rupe mat saleh, ala2 dracula dan sbgainye la kan. haa, tapi tapi tapi, btul ke sangkaan tu semua?? rupe2nye....

nak sambung esok ble da siang. sbb saye cuak nak abes citer malam ni.. trauma masih blum sembuh rupenye. haish.. slamat malam dan assalamualaikum. apape pun, Allah yang paling berkuasa!!