not for the faint hearted who lives in wellington (sambungan)

tak sangka pule ade permintaan yg tinggi utk cerita ini..hahaha.. malu je kalau sebenarnye tak best mane kann..well, at least i succeeded in creating the sense of anticipation, didnt i??

okla, ceritanye, weekend aritu, saye ke rumah jiran saye yg bernama K (ecece, cam secret sgt je kann, u know who i meant) utk mengambil movie dari hard disk nye (tgk bdk ni, tak sedar diri esaimen tak buat lagi). kebetulan aritu seorg abg bernama R pun ade jugak kat rumah K sbb nak amik movie gak (oh, sblm tu, abg R blanje kami aiskrem harini, terima kasih abg R!! semoga murah rezki dan boleh blanje lagi). Abg R ni tinggal jauh sket dari kwsn perumahan kitorg, kne jalan 20 minit camtu baru sampai. die slalu lepak2 rumah si K ni dan balik lewat mlm ke rumahnye.

out of curiosity, saye pun tanyela "pnah tak kne kacau?". soalan tu sbenarnya bertanyekan same ade pernah tak kene kacau dgn mat2 atau minah2 mabuk.. biasela negara org putih ni, asal malam je mabuk pastu jerit2 kacau org pastuh kencing merata rata (ni takde kne mengena, tapi jijik jugak). tapi si abg R ni pulak interpret soalan tu as "pnah tak kne kacau dgn hangtu ah".. aduhaii..

"maksud sarah kne kcau dgn benda2 tu ke?" tanye beliau meminta kepastian. padahal taknak tau pun pasal ni, tapi tula, i've always been fascinated by the things im scared of. "Oh, pernah ke?" tanye saye dgn semangat dan rase ingin tahu yg tinggi yang sudahnye membawa kesusahan pada diri sendiri.

"tak pnahh, tapi org lain pernah laa" kate die. "Tau tak simpang bla bla bla tu?" (die takdela sbut "bla bla bla" ye kwn2. bla bla bla sbb saye tak ingat exactly name simpang tu, tapi saye boleh agak2 la kat mane).

"ha, tauu"kataku, sambil merapatkan bdn kpd kwnku E. "kat situ da dua kali org nampak pon***nak (some letters are being ommited because the writer is concern it will be too much for some readers to take, or perhaps, for the writer herself to take)

"haa?? biar betul? kat nz pun ade gak pon***nak??" kataku, tak percaya.

abg R angguk. "maybe benda tu ikut die kut dari malaysia" aduhaiiii.. meremang aku kejapp.. bleh plak ikut2 kan..

dan aku pule dgn bodohnye bertanye pulak camne bentuk rupe makhluk yang ditemui itu. bodoh bodoh bodohhhh!!! dan abd R tu pun cerita la.. (saye taknak citer la camne rupe die, phm2 sendiri la rupe standard die tu, saye taknak tak boleh tido pule mlm ni)

si K pulak gi tmbh cerita2 seram ekslusif dari malaysia. I should have stopped them, but like I've mentioned above, ive always been fascinated and attracted to that kind of stories, so i continue to probe and listened. i can feel the fear creeping, enveloping me.

saye yang asalnye duduk atas kerusi, terus melompat bersila di bwh sbb da rase cuak.. "wey K, teman kitorg balik umah tau nanti" desak ku.walaupun sbenarnye rumah kitorg 2 minit je jaraknya. mungkin sbb nmpk sgt muka aku yang da ketakutan dan cuak, abg R pun mengeluarkan mathurat dari begnya dan suruh aku bace maksud ayat2 yang boleh dijadikan pelindung. kasi nasihat jugak. "jangan takut sgt, anggap benda2 tu makhluk Allah yang lain, contohnya mcm kucing tu, die takde kuasa pun" Im still not convinced. barula skang aku menyesal gi tanye lebih2. "takut sgt pada benda ni boleh bwk kpd syirik sarah" ok, aku da rase berdosa dan takut syirik. tapi aku still tak berjaya hilangkan takut jugak.

"ingat, benda tu lagi suke kacau kalau kita takut". Ok. ayat ni la yang buat aku traumatized. sbbnye, camne ni, aku da pun takut. so dlm otak aku mmg byg benda2 ni nak attack aku sbb aku da takut tadi. bygkan, aku nak masuk toilet pun aku keluar balik, sbbnye ble basuh muke, aku takut kat cermin tu nmpk benda lain. ble duduk kat jmbn,aku takut ade tgn menjulur dari luar. ye, aku boleh jadi sgt kreatif ble takut. ble buat esaimen tak bleh plak pandai mcm ni. mlm tu aku sendiri terkejut dgn betapa penakutnye aku. tak sangka sampai boleh thp mcm tu.

ya Allah, teruknya hambaMu ini. guys, pls nasihatkan aku supaya tak jadi penakut sgt. huhu.

hoho..tu la ceritanye.. tak lah seram mane pun kan? tapi mlm tu aku mmg seram kut. sbb selama ni tak expect benda2 tu boleh jadi gak kat negara omputih ni..huhu..

p/s-haha, sorry la, tadi memula start as "saye" da bertukar jadi "aku" plak sbb syok sgt cerita

not for the faint hearted who lives in wellington

hehe. cam gempak je kan tajuk entry kali ni. and org2 yang kenal rapat dgn saye mesti terlintas di dlm otaknye berkata "heh?dis coming from sarah yang penakut tu? tak logik tak logik.."

sbb saye penakut la saye da 2 kali membatalkan hasrat saye utk tulis pasal benda ni. tapi mlm ni, under the duvet and gebar yang berjaye di panaskan oleh electric blanket, dlm kesamaran mencari2 papan kekunci yang tepat utk ditekan hanya dgn bantuan lampu screen laptop,dan dgn bateri laptop pink ku yang tinggal 75% je remaining (bateri sudah memberi warning minta diganti, ngaaaaa, duit lagiiiii), saye nak citer jugak. sbb saye rase benda ni intresting utk dicerita. lagipun jarang skali ade benda menarik boleh diceritakan so ble ade peluang tak patut dilepaskan, setuju? (aish, panjang pule mukadimah budak ni. kalaula menaip esaimen pun boleh sepanjang dan sepantas ni, tentu da boleh packing2 baju tunggu waktu balik malaysia)

sbenarnye citer die pasal ni.. slame duduk kat nz ni kan, ramai rakan2 sependapat mengatakan bahwa mereka rase lebih berani ble ade kat sini berbanding kat malaysia. berani mcm mana tu? berani dgn manusia, contohnye the probability of kne ragut, kne kacau di siul siulkan oleh lelaki yg biul ble jalan sorg2 sgt tipis la kat sini. (mungkin sbb mereka lebih berminat curik bank, ehhh, tp x jugakk, and mungkin juge sbb perempuan melayu yang menutup aurat tak menarik berbanding yang lebih terdedah dan menjemput utk dpandang, terima kasih ya Allah!!).

lagi satu, berani juge dgn bukan manusia sbbnye ble balik malam pun x rase takut mcm kat malaysia, kononye takde hangtu ah (paham tak hangtu ah tu ape? buang huruf 'g' dan 'ah' utk perkataan sbenar) kat sini sbb org kat sini tak percaya benda2 tu, so die tak wujud kata mereka. pastu diorg ckp kalau wujud pun mesti kelakar sbb die rupe mat saleh, ala2 dracula dan sbgainye la kan. haa, tapi tapi tapi, btul ke sangkaan tu semua?? rupe2nye....

nak sambung esok ble da siang. sbb saye cuak nak abes citer malam ni.. trauma masih blum sembuh rupenye. haish.. slamat malam dan assalamualaikum. apape pun, Allah yang paling berkuasa!!

lift my spirit, please

knape
tahun ni tak rase excited langsung nak raya
adekah masa mudaku sudah semakin menghilang
adekah mungkin juga sikap suke melembab lembabkan diri menyelesaikan tugasan sudah memakan diri? *padan muka*

ahhhh.sedeh=(

salam perantauan

today i sent this photo to metro (since the chance for us to come out in the utusan/berita harian is out of question because of their popularity and its already too late anyway). Maka mari membeli metro!! hehe=)

when u feel like u're nothing special

dis is from an email my mum sent me.. hope it can inspires others like it has inspired me


Just Beautiful!!

What makes me weak? My fears.....

What makes me whole? My God.

What keeps me standing? My faith.

What makes me compassionate? My selflessness.

What makes me honest? My integrity.

What sustains my mind? My quest for knowledge.

What teaches me all lessons? My mistakes.

What lift's my head high? My pride, not arrogance.

What if I can't go on? Not an option.

What makes me victorious? My courage to climb.

What makes me competent? My confidence .

What makes me sensual? My insatiable essence.

What makes me beautiful? My everything.

What makes me a woman? My heart .

Who says I need love? I do.

What empowers me? My God & Me.

Who am I? I AM A PROUD STRONG WOMAN!

A letter from a Christian to Muslim women (March 7th, 2007)

I was blog hopping when i came across this article. i was touched by how there are people from other religion that see muslim women as a symbol of purity and honour.

I think its time we live up to it



By Joanna Francis
Writer, Journalist - USA


Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist “war on terror,” the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness.

Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

Through Temptation

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.

Self-Value

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the “pearl of great value” spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you.

The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too!

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.

A Woman’s Heart

I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us, just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears.

Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love.

Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.

Self-Denial

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated.

We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot. Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity. Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your “toothpaste” carefully!

I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration. From your Christian sister with love

who knew..

who knew being a teacher would be this hard. definitely not me

*aku lelah dgn penat. oh Allah, kuatkan!*